x_____everlasting hugg` dont let go..

yoz!

2004-11-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i've changed my bloggie liaoz.. http://mie-brokensmile.blogspot.com it's the same but jus that i dont wanna love the other him anymore.. pls visit.. qwahahahaha!

visualize yourself walking away from him and entering a happier phase of your life..

2004-11-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

hmm.. wahahaha! ime back again.. hmm.. so sianz man.. waiting to watch the 9 o'clock show.. the show is really nice man! wooh~! but like so fast end sialx.. yesterday got training.. trained for about 5 hours man.. woah.. shi shi and hsiao ling came back to watch us train bahx.. but guys using half of our court if not shi² and hsiao ling can play 5-on-5 liaoz.. wahahhahaha! after training went to canteen ta slack.. rest awhile then go change.. change liaoz went straight to plaza lorhs.. hehez.. went to 'kopithiam', was craving for laksa during training, so went to eat laksa.. dong and ser craving for tom yam.. haaz! the tom yam quite nice sialx.. wooh~! after the whole thing, went walk around plaza a while nia.. then went home liaoz ler.. cuz scared not enough time for the 9 o'clock show.. chiong go home watch.. show was okie.. yilin sucks! =x i mean in the show larhs.. haaz..! then this morning wake up at 9 plus then prepare to go to gym.. before that went to lot 1 eat first, dong was so loongg! luckily we went lot 1 eat first.. if not will be waiting for her till siao man! keke.. =p! went tried out the running de, bisceps and trisceps de.. woah.. till leg and hand also pain sialx.. while running, saw the pool, woah! so shiok man! so cooling, so fun man.. actually wanna swim de, but decided not to swim also.. after that, rest on the cushion, piangs.. raining man.. spoil our day! waited for quite long till the rain stopped.. haiz.. straight after that we went down, then still raining sialx.. luckily got one very kind taxi driver, drove us to the bus stop.. haaz! in the bus got one small girl keep on "diao" us sialx.. piangs! so small nia lorhs.. haaz! stopped at yew tee mrt there went to the fair price there go see whether got ice crreeaam! nots.. after that took mrt to lot 1.. went there the 'kopithiam' to eat.. slack awhile there also.. then bee wenta buy drinks, we joke and joke.. i laugh till like mad sialx.. dunnoe why, but it's really funny lorhs! haaz! =)) walked around lot 1 saw billabong de bag, slippers and wallet so nice! piangs.. wanna save till now still haven't save yet.. wad the hell i doing man! liew.. lousy me! then dong gotta go home liaoz.. me, se and bee went to popular saw the notebook damn nice! woohhh~~~!!!! i want also! woah.. went to take neoprint!!!!! after that.. haaz.. nice niice! =p after taking neoprint then went home ler.. tomorrow still got training and lessons.. gtg! muacks..

forgetting euu is the toughest thing i hafta do..

2004-10-31T18:21:00.000+08:00

i think firstly, should apologise to sharlene and friends for wad i have said.. i'm sowie.. hmm.. yups.. on friday went to school, after that went for training.. training was okie larhs.. not very tough also.. Mr.Lee going ler.. leaving our school, to go other school to become their principal.. after training went slack in school all e way till parents' night.. mummy went to school at around 4 something.. waited for Mdm.Liew to come.. waited quite long man.. then ronin's mama so fierce sialx!.. so strict.. haaz.. =p! hmm.. after mummy go home liaoz, then me stay in school slack with wee2, unis, wifey they all lorhs.. then decided to go chalet with hazel and friends lorhs.. after the whole thing, went home at about 8 bahx.. went home change first.. then meet moses then wenta choa chu kang control station to meet hazel they all.. then took mrt all the way to pasir ris, thought the journey wil be very long, but then still okaies larhs.. reached there liaoz took taxi in.. then went to the hazel's chalet.. so many people there sialx.. her family and her cousins' friend.. piangs.. flooded liaoz.. then after that went to find wee ting and her relatives.. papa really a bit mad yea? hmm.. then ting drinked so much sialx, face all red red liaoz.. after that asked ting to go with meeh to buy "drinks".. wahahahaha..! shiok! after a while, went back to hazel's chalet.. so tired sialx.. but sat down awhile then chou say wanna play poker cards.. wahahahaha! play till i almost fall asleep, go to the sofa there lie down, after a while, went to the room inside to sleep.. with her ah ma and nephew, but different bed lorhs.. keke.. =p! from 6 something sleep till 8 something then wake up liaoz.. sat down for awhile then go home liaoz.. quite fun actually, but tired lorhs.. =)! then went straight home to sleep lorhs.. ~end~

you are always not on my mind..

2004-10-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

helloz!! wadeva larhs.. hmm.. today damn tired sialx.. in the morning 8 o'clock must reach school.. then getting ready for interclass, like so wad sialx.. only got three classes playing for girls interclass nia lorz.. haaz! 3/2,3/4 and 4/6.. hmm.. first match is 3/2 versus 4/6 sialx.. 3/2 won.. score is 12:4? i think larhs.. then next match is my class versus 4/6.. score is 22:4? i think also.. then after that winner versus winner lorz.. become my class versus 3/2 lorhs.. hehez.. exciting sialx.. mei yee's defend damn good sialx.. think is duck teach de.. haaz! nice..! patricia damn fast also.. then tyco tyco won them lorhs.. haaz! then placing first is ma class, second is 3/2.. third is 4/6 lorhs.. piangs.. for guys is 3/3 first, 3/4 second and 3/6 third bahz.. yea.. all so steady sialx for guys.. all take part.. then straight after interclass damn damn tired lorhs.. then went to toilet awhile then straight start training liaoz.. but luckily, not say very tough larhs.. finished training liaoz, me, nie, dong, bee, se, as usual, go toilet change lorhs.. then dong gotta go do the Mr.Marcel Lee thingy lorhs.. so she gotta go first.. then from 12 we slack all the way till 2 something sialx.. then saw those teachers coming out from the shaw theatrette.. piangs.. all rushing to ask our marks sialx.. but teacher jus wont' say.. woots..~ bo bian lorhs.. must wait till tomorrow then they will tell us.. haiz.. then went to daddy de house with denise and youse.. haaz! nice house worx.. cosy cosy de.. then self entertain larhs.. play pillow fight.. humph.. =p! loser.. take one big pillow.. wahahahaha! ime still the baseball champion! wooh~! blehas! =p.. and that neoprint you kept in your house not bad ar? haaz.. =x k lahz.. then after that papa gotta go play "dry swimming".. haaz.. then me, youse and denise went to 213 lorhs.. reached there saw manda and vanessa.. woah~ not bad sialx.. so many love love here and there.. piangs.. saw somebody with somebody there dot dot dot.. piangs.. *shivers* *vomits* * faints* digusting lorhs please~! manda and se, will get wad i mean bahz.. =x before that in school ka jiao vien dear.. piangs.. wad only sialx.. AES~ haaz! friday gonna have another training again.. but coach say will not be that tough.. hengx..~

uh farking can't make ma decision..

2004-10-24T14:58:00.000+08:00

uh can't make ma decision! wad the hell larhs.. keep on saying i wanna forget some1 but i still can't.. everytime also say and say but didn't do.. wad the hell sialx.. piece of bitch me..! hate maself ar.. i hate yoo! too.. piangs.. yesterday sec 2's habe interclass basketball sialx.. didn't went to watch cuz i wanna pig at home.. on friday's training.. was shocked after hearing that some of the sec 2s wanna quite basketball.. if you all really wanna quit better not regret.. is you all put us here to suffer de.. wanna quit dont' ever come back.. after that only left 7 of us training there.. leen actually say wanna come but dunnoe for wad reason, she didn't come.. left me, nie, dong, bee, se, shin pei and si hui.. wad sialx.. i really don't understand lorz.. wad the hell! lucky training was not so tough.. was kinda relax larhs.. but after so much of playing, also tired nehx.. play and play larhs.. then casselyn never come cuz she helping her father? then charline cannot come cuz of sc thingy? piangs.. whole bballer like so wad sialx.. everyone is so busy that can't even attend a training.. more people training less tougher.. why can't be like last time man? then after training slack at canteen so cold sialx.. sit under the fan there.. piangs.. we slack from 4 soemthing all the way to 6 something.. so power~ sialz.. then grad nite marhs.. see so many people coming in sialx.. we all got so interested that we ran to canteen the 'cyber' thingy there to sit.. watch them coming in.. then give comments.. wahahahaha! saw ronald.. handsome! keke.. =x his outfit veri nice and cool larhs.. yups..! then after that went to disturb the pe teacher, teacher in charge of basketball de.. but i dunnoe wad's her name, i forget liaoz ler.. disturbed till she damn du lan, but we damn shuang.. hahahz! then after that mama come fetch me.. went to eat then went home waiting to watch the 9'oclock show.. damn nice man.. about swimming de.. sianz! tomorrow got training.. coach says it's not gonna be so relax anymore liaoz.. haiz.. must endure! basketballers! jia you~ i will TRY to forget some1, but i dunoe whether i can do it anot.. it's gonna be hurting, but i'll still try k? *faints*

uh jus can't remember to ferget euu..

2004-10-20T19:06:00.000+08:00

wooh~ boo.. 'woah scareded..' hehez.. =p! hmm.. just came back from my grandma house.. today whole day at my mother's office man.. kinda sianz larhs.. so i decided not to go tomorrow.. piangs.. played with ting rummikub.. it's a kinda game which is something like uno de loorhs.. yea.. kinda bahz.. then played till headache man.. brainstorming game.. nice! yesterday wenta orchard with unis, ting and koonz.. wahahahaha! was really nice man.. took lotsa neoprints.. woah!! nice!!!! piangs.. bo bian larhs.. cuz i neoprint freak marhs.. take and take non-stop.. we met at 11am go there.. woah.. shiok man.. the neoprint shop like totally nobody.. shiok! we took the one with the cushion de.. for us to sit down and take photo one.. that one is really nice i can say.. very very nice.. took twice man.. then after took the other one de.. got ting to piggyback me! woah~! yea man! but actually we took one more lahz.. but then we forget to press the one we want before we go out.. then blur blur go out then waiting for the photos.. come out liaoz.. all the same! piangs.. seh~ stupid us sialx.. those inside there really nice lehz.. haiz.. wasted.. tarded! after that went to cineleisure to watch movie.. watch 'white chicks'.. bought the ticket.. the show starts at 3:10pm sialx.. that time we went is at 2:00pm then.. stil got 1 and a half hour lehz.. so we got eat kfc first.. halfway walking there saw dong, kris, claudia, cheryl and their gang there lahz.. wave to them.. keke.. =p eat finish liaoz like no where to go sialx.. then i suggest that we go k-box sing song.. =x then didn't know we really went there sialx.. sang for one hour something.. haahz.. like that also can worx? went inside sing and sing.. woah.. the songs in there got very few english song nia.. so we sing chinese song lorz.. but also all sing together lahz.. so not so paise.. =x damn bo liaoz sialx.. then came out from k-box saw charline, nicole and gang.. they celebrating alfy's birthday bahx.. they also watching white chicks sialx.. hahaz.. so coincidental! *laughs* the white chick really damn funny.. halfway watching kinda touching yea? thinking of that some1 sialx.. the days we had together everything rushed into ma mind.. piangs.. cried some more.. *crybaby* was damn funny lahz the show, very crappy also.. wahahahaha! cute too.. watch finish liaoz, went to heeren again.. walk walk lorz.. saw a billabong bagpack.. pink colour one.. damn nice!! $59.90.. ime gonna save some more..!yesh! i will.. piangs.. friday training start liaoz.. neva train or wad.. my stamina sure drop de.. but yupz! i should not give up! neva! jia you~! budx all train together with meeh.. so if it's tough everyone is feeling that too..! i miss some1!

euu might think that ime happy but ime not gonna be okie..

2004-10-17T17:50:00.000+08:00

wooh~ the mie is back again.. chey.. =x i think i'm being crazy again liaoz.. wahahaha.. sialx larhs.. yesterday dreamt of sherie??? hahaz.. funny sialx.. i dreamt that sherie and ivinn together? hahaz.. then they quarrel? i was trying to stop them? then i dunnoe wad happen liaoz.. hehez.. i also dunnoe wad i dreaming of man.. piangs.. don't care liaoz.. wahahahaha! day before yesterday i left ma house at 10 something in the night.. cuz i very boring mahz.. so ask people come out pei me talk talk.. dot dot dot.. then went home at 3 something.. bath liaoz then sleep dunnoe wad time liaoz ler.. then after that parents quarrelled.. piangs.. was disturbed and can't even go back to sleep anymore.. then bla bla.. then in the afternoon 12 something nie call me.. i was sleeping halfway lahz.. nie ask me whether wanna go orchard nots.. then go lorz.. called dong ask her follow also.. wahahaha.. she so steady sialx.. say go means go.. wooh~! then went there meet ah lao.. nie went around buying her friend's present.. then buy finish liaoz went to pacifc plaza.. saw the roxy shoe.. damn nice.. very very nice worx! love it so much man.. $89 ime gonna save! save!! wahahahaha.. then saw those kinda hip-hop de jacket also quite cool.. then saw their bag.. also quite nice.. sideways de.. very nice.. must save money go buy also.. yea man! but dunnoe when then i'll save till those money worx.. tuesday gonna go orhard again.. with unis they all.. i look forward to it man! take neoprint! take neoprint! bwahahaha.. after that went to meet lao liaoz.. me,nie,dong at neoprint shop.. went to take another one with ah lao.. hahaz.. nice! =p! finish taking liaoz, went to cineleisure see got what movie to watch.. hahaz.. =) reached there liaoz.. saw wimbledon~! nie they all say nice.. so okie lorz.. watch lorz.. went in to watch then bla bla bla.. the show is about tennis de.. damn nice sialx.. i inside trembling.. worried for the tennis player.. hahaz.. like soccer like that yea? keke.. was really really nice.. after the show about 9 something liaoz.. went to marche'.. sialx larhs.. da things there so ex sialx.. sehx~! but quite nice lahz.. eat finish liaoz then went to 7-eleven buy drinks? wanna buy vodka de.. but then also never buy liaoz.. ah lao bought the 'bu shuang' drink for me.. i drink liaoz really 'bu shuang' worx.. wahahahah! then after e whole thing reached home at about 1 something? i think so.. bath liaoz then go pigging lorz.. =p! had a nice day! thanks nie,dong and lao!

so get back back back to where we lasted..

2004-10-15T20:35:00.000+08:00

wooh~ at last and finally.. exams over liaoz! hahaz.. jealous of all my friends from other school who have finished their exams earlier than me.. but now.. wahahaha! everything's okie liaoz.. bleahs! yea.. holidaes! but then only six days nia.. afterwards, still have to go back to school de.. get results!! omg.. don't want think about it man.. scared of taking results liaoz ler.. my results i think really gonna be lousy sialx.. scared scared.. i don't wanna retain.. the feelings sure dont feel good de.. till today, i'm still missing that some1 but i think he kinda don't give me a damn yea? aiya.. dunnoe me lahz.. everytime also like that one.. piangs.. no one can replace him mahz.. thats wad i really think.. i dont' want euu to give me any hope.. don't take my heart.. if you gonna take, please don't break it.. i'm already feeling very lonely liaoz.. and my heart is already broken till dunnoe like wad liaoz ler.. please.. if you dont want me, just go away from me.. but i just got a feeling i really want euu back.. i just don't wanna let go.. i'm trying to hold on liaoz.. i'm holding very long ler.. when can i let go? or not i can't bear to let euu go de.. haiz.. i dunnoe wad i should do now.. i'm really very confused man.. piangs.. dunnoe wad i thinking.. i just feel like crying the whole day.. i've already cried half day liaoz.. piangs.. today just finished exams, wee2.unis.ting.koonz came to ma house.. hahaz.. watch vcd like marathon man.. hahaz.. watch thrice at one go.. bleahs! =p nice nice.. all touching show, so uh just cried and cried.. it feels so nice after everything sialx.. like long time never cry liaoz.. bwahahahaha! ate tibits too.. like as if i inside the movie theatre like that worx.. hmm.. hand itchy really feel like messaging some1 now.. i miss him so much that even i can't imagine how much it is.. let's not talk about it better yea? hmm.. today's history paper was quite hard lahz.. the question in the paper, i answer till out of point man.. ms.mari last minute then come in tell us it should be done in the other way.. i sehx~ then heck care liaoz.. piangs.. scared fail my papers man.. i don't wanna fail! haiz.. i wanna go sec 4.. tuesday going orchard with classmates! yea! sure go take neoprint.. neoprint! neoprint! bwahahaha.. today wifey was like damn fustrating.. i hate gabriel! he's a piece of bitch! humph.. how dare you like that treat ma wifey.. i hate you i hate you.. bloody piece of shit.. argh! *roars* go away lahz.. disgusting freako! ^%^(#$^(*^%@!!

everithing means nothing if uh ain't got euu..

2004-10-12T16:05:00.000+08:00

wahahha! hmm.. so long! keke.. hmm.. yesterday's maths was like uhm..? kinda hard yea? paper one is the same as normal technical de paper.. didn't know that till imran they all say de.. paper 1 lorz.. quite easy sialx.. hahaz.. do until very shiok, very happy.. haiz.. but then ar.. piangs.. paper 2 de time, piangs! quite hard sialx, cuz it's ah tan set de.. he still say won't be very hard one.. diao~ bluff us sehx.. then yesterday went to ah ting house to stay then went to mac! wahahah.. go there eat with ting and her small cousin, then saw dear.. dear and one of her friend there.. keke.. =p! wave to her sialx, i machaim lunatic like that.. ahaks.. on e way back to ting house so funny sialx.. ting's cousin said stop all of us stop then walk walk walk halfway then stop! hahaz.. cute sialx.. i've been acting like a three years old kid liaoz man.. hahaz.. was really fun! then went to ting's house continued studying lorz.. studied for chemistry liaoz, but haven't study for physics yet.. bwahahaha! piangs.. i dunch like physics, i think i beginning to like chemistry more than physics liaoz man.. then at ting's house studied halfway her father ask whether wanna go coffeeshop nots.. then i was reluctant to go larhs.. but then kena pulled by ting.. =x hahaz.. then go lorz.. go there find wee2 ask wee2 come down study altogether lorz.. the place was at senja link there.. keke.. walk all the way there to senja lrt to find wee2.. walked a big round man.. piangs! *moutain tortise* bleahs! hmm.. went back to the coffeeshop then it's like studying in the coffeeshop a bit funny lahz.. so we went to playground there to sit, wooh~ there so cooling sialx.. surrounded by buildings piangs! nice nice! all no mood to study ler, so went back to coffeeshop sit down drink water and dots.. drank a bit of beer larhs.. keke.. =p! 12 something then leave the coffeeshop, went back to ting's house again.. so tired.. but still talked a bit then go sleep.. today's paper chemistry and physics.. physics was hard man.. i didn't remember the formula for those man.. *faints* but then when it comes to chemistry i do until very happy sialx.. tmr will be having social studies paper.. omg! got a lot a lot a lot more more more to study sialx.. dunnoe when then will finish studying.. now freaking tired.. hope sum1 got good grades fro his exams.. i'll pray for that sum1 to get good results.. all e best.. good luck for tmr's exam too.. i miss you! take care..

by da time euu found meeh again, uh've already been left broken there..

2004-10-09T21:51:00.000+08:00

wahahaha! hmm.. today early in e morning wake up then go ma ah ma house..went there to attend my grandpa's 49th day.. reached there liaoz already quite a lot of uncles and aunties there liaoz ler.. keke.. ate something ler then settle down.. got one cousin of mine, so cute sials.. so petty some more.. hahaz.. only do a bit wrong nia then he will say :" humph.. you don't love me anymore, don't want friend you liaoz.." *folds his arms* wahahaha.. diao~ i was like.. huh? hahaz.. keep on disturbing him.. cute! =p! then watched tv, pokemon! hahaz.. pikachu is so cute too! wifey! pokemon rocks more than digimon k? POKEMON! full stop. no more! wahahaha.. L! came home afterwards, start revising maths, but then halfway don't want revise liaoz.. hehez.. i go sit in front of da com.. wahahaha! today so independant sialx.. went downstairs alone to buy dinner for maself.. keke.. lucky got wee2 pei me chat on the phone worx.. hehx.. =p! i missed sum1 sialx! loads and loads.. i want seventeen! early mornin keep on thinking bout that some1 lorz.. but i should stop hoping ler.. i think i'll be just left here broken bahx.. even better rite? today really not in the mood to write.. so didn't write much yea?

uh dun wan otha fishes in da sea, uh onli wan u..

2004-10-08T13:18:00.000+08:00

piangs.. two days never blog liaoz? wahahaha.. got a new blogskin.. nice sialx.. hor? keke.. =p! yesterday went school so sianz man.. ms mari! i hate yoo! wth.. we only talk so soft nia lorz. punish us go out stand.. bleahs! wadeva lahz.. this kinda teacher.. *throw inside rubbish bin* humph! then stand finish ler come in still have to write two full pages without leaving line.. "how to behave in class?" then i purposely write the words big big, leave a lot og line, then words write until so ugly.. hahaz! shiok man.. then me, ting and unis was like keep on laughing man.. keke.! =p then pass up to ms mari.. see her face.. *vomits* actually thought she was quite a nice teacher but then.. haiz.. so dissapointed man! wahahahha.. after school, ting came to my house study.. hahz.. piangs! then "papa" and qp cum my house study a while later.. hahaz. "papa" became out tuition teacher sialx.. teach here and there.. like so busy sialx.. then halfway, hahaz.. he messsaging his 'dear'.. wahahahaha! not bad ehx? yea.. think i going to haf a "mama" soon liaoz ler.. bwahahahaha! they come my house study till 9 something going 10 like that.. hehez! hmm.. then after came back sit down in front of the computer.. talked to nie for a while.. telling her how i feel lorz.. then she was like comforting me! thanks worx nie! haiz.. if it's not for nie, piangs.. i crying there myself man! thanks dear! then after that went to read my e-mail saw something man.. piangs.. cannot take it then cry liaoz ler lorz.. phew~! sehx~ then cry and cry.. after holding on for so long.. at last i let it out liaoz.. after that went to take a hot bath like wad nie says, come out feel much better liaoz lorz.. wooh~! then trying to prepare for today's english exams.. but eyes too pain liaoz so faster go sleep le lorz.. hehez! today went to school early in e morning.. left eyes keep on 'jumping' man.. exams start liaoz.. compo paper 1! piangs.. i scared fail my compo man.. sianz diao.. then went to take a break then come back again.. then come back ms dora in our class.. ask us faster settle down, but onli a few listening nia.. like me lorz.. =x then she gave out paper 2, piangs.. see the first page it says "11 printed pages excluding this page" then i sehx liaoz.. then look inside.. okie lahz.. still can lorz.. quite difficult man! shiok man.. write until so much.. so feel better a bit.. wahahaha!

wheeee ~

2004-10-05T19:04:00.000+08:00

mwahahahaha !.. changed ma wifey`s template agains . nicee mahx ? hahas` she found iht in blogskins . kinda damnn touching yea ? sighs` cheer up yea wifey ? dont brood abt iht nemore . iht`ll only mayke yoo more sad . smileesss !! :)

h0lla h0lla ! post yor comments aht tha chatterbox !

x0x0 - - - alaneyz`14

i hate myself for loving you..

2004-10-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

uh think ime kinda mad here liaoz.. uh tried not to look at him liaoz! uh tried my best liaoz! but uh just couldn't control my eyes.. my eyes is always going his direction! wad e hell.. pls lahz.. piangs.. stupid eyes.. eat shit! =x uh can't control.. uh've lost control ler.. uh wanna just blackout! haiz.. uh hate yoo! uh hate myself! UH HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU! uh'm such a fool! some more some1 and some1(2) now together liaoz ler.. wahahaha! congrats to me.. =( hmm.. hope they will last as long as they live.. bwahahahaha.. yesterday some1 came talking to me.. said sorry for everything.. but please lahz.. don't need say sorry to me k? it's totally not your fault.. the fault lies on me, it's me that didn't treasure you in the first place.. it's me who let go of you in the first place.. want blame also blame me.. =) i'm very happy with ma life now.. i'm happy on the outside.. i don't want let anyone see the weak side of me.. it really hurts inside, you see.. look closer! it really hurts! i love you but i will let you go, this i promise you.. i don't wanna be third party.. i don't wanna destroy or wad.. i just wanna let everything go the way you want them to.. i don't care whether they go my way nots.. just pray for you.. hope you will promote.. and must treasure her horx! neva let go.. or you'll regret like wad i did.. =p! remember k? wahahahaha! don't have to bother wad i feel.. i will regret for wad i did yesterday.. but i jus don't wanna let things go wrong nia.. there's a lot of people getting hurt in a relationship.. i'm not the only one.. and at least mine was like not that bad.. so if i'm sad, wad about others? i will never forget the days we had together.. those memories will be left inside ma mind and will never be erased.. i dunoe whether you can be replaced.. but i'm sure memories stays.. till e day i die.. if i look at you, don't get the wrong idea.. i just wanna know whether you are happy nots.. i can survive without you! i can't forget you! i'm sure.. 100% sure! wahahahah! you take care yea? hmm.. yesterday didn't went to school but today got lorz.. kinda missed school but came back was like so sianz sialx.. got lotsa free period.. bwahahaha! i didn't even take those time to study sialx.. was like playing and talking all the while.. shit man! wahahahaha.. talked to ma wifey, sing song with ma wifey.. keke.. =p ms mari and mrs chen came in but they was like heck care the people behind sialx.. and she's like concentrating on the peeps in front nia.. wahahaha.. maybe we didn't even listen bahx.. mdm liew came in ask us do physics worksheet.. keke.. me and ma wifey don't even have the mood to do anythin just feel like sleeping nia.. hahaz.. uh am missy piggy! bwehehehehe.. now at home.. ting, unis, wee2 and meeh at ma house.. sianz! later have to start to study again liaoz ler.. keke.. =p hmm.. i'm a piece of bitch! buaiz!

my heart is hurt.. you took it high and you let it go.. my heart is broken into millions and millions of pieces.. why do you have to do this to me?

2004-09-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

haiz.. really farking devastated over here.. this whole was in a mess! i dunnoe how should i clean up this mess.. it's really bad, very very bad.. it really hurts.. hurts a million times as the last one.. i haven't even got time to mend this broken heart.. but i was brought back to square one.. i've already lost the battle in the first place.. i'm only wasting my time.. i've been a fool all along.. been fooled by you all the while.. some1! i hate you! why do you hafta do this to me? retribution ar.. funny isit? okie.. i'm mad.. but i'm sorry for PESTERING you all the while.. i shouldnt have.. in the first place you shouldn't tell me that you'll think about it yea? just say you like her can liaoz ler mahz.. why waste your time? stupid arse! i'm a fool! i'm just a piece of shit.. i hate myself to the core.. but no matter wad, i'm gonna be happy.. ime gonna hold on to maself until one day i can't take it.. i'm gonna prove to you that this doesn't hurts.. i don't like you, i don't like you at all.. you come to me you said this to me, you go to her you tell that to her.. please lahz.. grow up can? you think you still 3 years old kid mehz? i'm really silly.. farking silly to have believe everything in you.. to be so in love with you.. wad am i doing? why am i doing this? i really dunnoe.. i'm gonna concentrate on my studies, i'm gonna smile everydaie.. i'm gonna hold on.. i will never cry! i can forget *heartbreaker* is all because of you, but i didn't know you will be like this? i didn't know things will end up this waie.. what should i doo? how am i gonna forget you.. i'm gonna put everything aside first..(if i can) i'll go mad everyday.. i just hope i can forget you now, as least i won't feel so terrible.. you're really a bastard! i hate yoo..! thanks for all you have done to me last time.. thanks for showering me with your love.. i'm gonna get you out of my mind no matter how hard i try, i will succeed.. you're nobody.. my class.. is out of control now.. really having many internal conflicts, not only the girls but the boys too.. all of us have changed, it's like we're not the old us.. everything is wearing a mask now.. exams coming soon! i'm gonna buck up.. i will cry if i want to.. wifey! you cheer up kaes? don't breakdown..! or i will too.. i'm gonna breakdown anytime.. i just wanna cry for all i can.. i'll feel much better.. i think i should fark off ler..

i love you..

2004-09-28T15:45:00.000+08:00

hmm.. keke.. today in school was like fun! wahahahaha.. sit beside darren lorz.. then talk and talk with ma wifey.. hehez.. =p hmm.. boring sehx..! hmm.. sianz man! today ah tan didn't come to our class sialx.. slept for the whole period.. then afterwards got two periods of mother tongue.. piangx.. then got mother tongue test.. wahahahha! quite easy larhs.. =x sialx lahz.. on friday mother tongue end year exam liaoz ler..piangx.. today lantern festival liaoz sialx.. shiok! can go down nd play candle liaoz ler.. bwahahahha.. =p these two days at night also go play candle sialx.. then was playing the swing at ma house there da park.. wahahaha! shiok lehz.. was like so fun lorz.. swing halfway release then uh fly! keke.. =p then was like sand bathing lorz.. keke.. then go home faster bath cuz whole leg and hand full of sand.. piangs.. hmm.. haiz.. these two days stupid alarm wake me up man! so noisy manx.. argh! hafta study liaoz sialx.. but still cannot concentrate on studying manx.. cuz of some1.. haiz.. he asked me how i was studying i told him i can't concentrate then he asked why i just say cannot concentrate lorz.. but e reason is u!!!! haiz.. i'm sorry.. i'm mad!i miss him so much.. really a lot.. but i just can't say.. i dunnoe why.. he's like, i dunnoe wad he wanna do.. like a while haiz.. i really don't know.. i'm all messed up.. piangs.! i really can't forget.. everytime also say want forget then promise ma friends ask them trust me i'll forget him.. trust my foot! i can't even forget a single thing about some1.. i really don't wanna let go.. i really dont want! but wad can i do? i can only sit here and wait.. i don't want! haiz.. i tried thinking many other ways to forget him, thinking that i don't love him anymore, thinking that i should think of other people, thinking that i could just forget him easily.. just trying not to think about him.. but for that, uh can only survive for one or two days.. in the end, i was back to square one.. i still can't forget.. everyone was like saying it was easy.. but it's not at all.. i totally do'nt wanna give up.. everytime was like thinking about him and me, sang the songs he liked to maself.. thinking back of the past.. i really hate myself being like this.. i really dont wanna be like this man! but i will wait! argh~ no matter how hars i try, i can't forget.. so i should not waste time forgetting.. i don't care whether he still loves me, i don't care if he wants me back, i'm gonna wait.. i'm gonna let the time numb my pain.. i'm gonna play as much as i can.. study as much as i can.. i'll try not to think.. i wish i can go brainwash, forget everything and start everything afresh.. i don't want this life.. i really hate it.. this really sucks!

i love you.. yet i'm heartbroken..

2004-09-24T14:47:00.000+08:00

wahahaha! i'm buack.. chey~ no lahz.. think i'm a bit mad yea? these few days busy studying sehx.. =p so guai sialx me.. =x hmm.. yesterday in school was like wooh~! haiz.. saw some1.. he was like so close, he walked pass me.. and was like acting stupid sehx.. haiz.. then after school went to find ah tan let him check my 'n' level mathematics book.. then i draw some1's name on my hand.. then when passing my book to ah tan.. he saw my hand.. then he said:" **** ****! write his name on your hand.. ask you come school to study not to like guys one hor! like that might as well you quit school and go get married lahz.." wahahhaha.. then i ji tao paise sialx.. piangs! so malu.. then i thought he stopped saying liaoz ler.. but then after that he continued:"you hor, sec 3 secondary girl liking a guy kena caught by male teacher, you buay paise ar?" piangs.. kena jacked sehx.. wahahahaha.. lucky he go liaoz ler sehx.. scary man! but was kinda funny lahz.. when walking home keep on laughing at myself for being so silly.. keke.. =p then today nehx? in e morning.. saw some1.. some1 go ka jiao darryl.. wahahaha! so naughty sehx.. then was having pe.. piangs! forget to bring p.e sialx.. so careless of me.. then sit there study for spelling for chinese lorz.. then played basketball awhile.. then kick soccer awhile, play volleyball awhile.. shiok nehx.. then ah tan right in front of me, walk past.. lucky my uniform still okie sialx.. wooh~ then went back to class for two periods of maths.. ah tan's mood was okie.. hahaz.. darren so cute sialx.. walk halfway fall down, stand up say leg no strength.. wahahahaha~! whole class laugh till crazee.. keke.. =p ah tan say darren got mad cow disease.. wahahahaha! accounts also forget to bring ledger book.. piangs.. careless! then during cathecism period, say some1 outside my class there.. was talking to shortie.. piangs.. he's so cute! then wifey went to talk to him say wad i sad and things.. then he was like changing the subject.. sheesh..! wad sialx.. "helo there.. angel's from my nightmare, the shadows in the background of the morgue, the unsuspecting victim.. of darkness in the valley, we can live like me and jamie if we want.." wahahaha.. i'll never forget.. becus my love for you will never end.. you'll always be a part of me as long as time keeps on passing by, you'll always be my baby boy.."

wad am i doing?

2004-09-20T17:11:00.000+08:00

i dunnoe what i'm doing nowadays.. keep on giving people attitude.. i'm really mad liaoz le.. think i should stop it liaoz.. a little things also angry liaoz.. haiz.. must change liaoz ler.. hmm.. today didn't went to school.. wahahahaha! overslept cuz too tired liaoz.. the night before yesterday so late then sleep then yesterday morning so early need ta wake up liaoz ler.. then went for my cousin's wedding afterwards in the afternoon.. parents came hom to take a nap.. i didn't sleep.. cuz was doing my homework.. if not never pass up then die liaoz ler.. do until 6 something went out again for the dinner.. the dinner lasted quite long.. lasted for about 5 hours.. about 11 something then can go.. sent my cousin home first.. then go home.. reached home at about 12 something liaoz ler.. bath and everything 1 something liaoz.. still have to wait for my hair to dry.. then next morning dunnoe why hp de alarm clock siao siao liaoz.. didn't ring at all.. then my own alarm clock spoil.. piangs! prepare everything ler in the end didn't go school.. kena scolded by my father.. say i so many times never go school liaoz ler.. think i don't want go mehz? wad sialx.. die liaoz lahz.. my results.. fail 5 some more today didn't go school missed even more liaoz.. my father is going to kill me liaoz ler.. omg! think i'll have to quit bball liaoz ler.. cca points fly away! told some1 that if he doesn't like me anymore, tell me.. i'll give up de.. i'll be alrite only sad nia.. everytime wanna study but in the end also didn't study anything de.. i dont' wanna fail i really dont' wanna fail.. later i wanna quit bball coach sure say i give excuse again.. say it's not because of bball then result will drop de.. and wadeva wadeva de.. haiz.. think i'm fated to be like this de.. i don't wanna fail! i really don't want.. i will regret de.. 11 days more to exams liaoz.. fuck! i haven't even prepared.. think i should go study now ler.. buaiz! life is stress! exam sucks..

losing control of myself..

2004-09-19T13:46:00.000+08:00

hmm.. now at my grandma's house.. halfway attending my cousin's wedding.. bwahahaha.. get hold of the com liaoz.. so type lorz.. hehez.. =p hmm.. stil got lotsa homework haven't do sialx.. maybe later going home to do first.. if not tmr teacher sure scold me one.. hehx.. =p kinda finished account liaoz.. left the blance sheet.. stupid sialx.. can't balance..! father came back from shanghai le.. haiz.. long time never breakdance ler.. but also cannot lahz.. hahz.. =) cuz have to prepare for exams.. if not i sure fail de.. haiz.. dont' wanna fail anymore man.. now my results really slack like hell liaoz ler.. only pass 2 sialx.. fail 5 subjects lorz.. piangx! so stress sehx.. think must chiong liaoz ler.. bwehehehehe.. kinda miss some1 so much sialx.. =p but think he dont' give a damn also.. dreamt of him yesterday sialx.. both of us was like so close like wad we were the first time sehx.. haiz.. wanna stay in the dream longer but i know no matter how long i stay the dream will not come true.. but i truly want him baq.. guess he really doesn't know how i'm feeling now lorz.. keke.. =) haiz.. now i'm really different liaoz.. i don't wanna mind anything anymore.. just wanna love him dearly.. but i'm not given any chance anymore.. think i should just concentrate on my studies.. everytime when i try to concentrate i will think of him de.. cuz that time some1 said cannot study on his own.. ask me accompany him worx.. i really want.. i really wanna accompany him lorz.. i think 'll study hard for the sake of him.. i'm willing to do anything for the sake of him.. i'm willing to wait no matter how long i have to.. if i had one more chance, i will cherish him once again.. i promised that some1 that if i go back to him, i'll never wanna leave.. i will never wanna break that promise anymore.. guess i'll have to quit bball ler.. cuz my results really not improving.. and is even getting from bad to worst.. if i don't pull up my socks, i'll slack behind everyone.. getting results back on monday.. sure die de.. cuz have to let my father see.. don't know what he'll do to me ler.. i'm dead! i'm twisted cuz one side of me is telling me to move on, at the other side just wanna break down and cry.. some1 just came online ler.. haiz.. don't wanna talk to him cuz i know i'll be wasting my time.. i'll wait! i'll keep this promise.. till the day you tell me that you already don't love me.. i'm a fool.. i know.. i'm really acting like a fool.. but i don't care..

i'm crushed, but i will still wait for you..

2004-09-16T18:34:00.000+08:00

todae is imran's birthday.. hahaz.. today then realise imran was a different people cuz everytime talk to him= quarrel de.. but today really went talking to him, find that he was actually quite a nice guy lahz.. not so bad lorz.. hehez.. =p today is imran's birthday too.. was like kena bashed up by my class's boys.. bwahahahaha.. he didnt beat them back worx.. miracle! today got back my history paper.. feel kinda happy sialx.. cuz everytime also fail my history paper de.. keke.. =p skully is see, got 18/20.. ah tan didn't came to our class todae.. shiok man! miss lina also was on mc.. then the teacher dunnoe play with us wad stupid game sialx.. so childish! saw some1 during recess time assembly, but still act stupid.. like i didn't see him.. but i really really wanna see him so muuccchhhiiiieeee! what's the world up to? why so many things happening? why do i care.. haiz.. i really miss you so much, teddy.. miss you as much as the water in the ocean.. but when i see you i act like i didn't care.. but after that my heart really hurts.. and the pain is getting deeper and deeper.. i don't want.. but i can't control, i'm really sinking down into the quicksand.. "too many tears i've cried, too many lovers who said goodbye, too many lonely days i had to go through, too many pieces broken, too many sorrys that didn't heal the pain.. too many UNWANTED HEARTBREAKS!

i want you so badly..

2004-09-15T18:29:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday didn't go school whole morning never go school.. hahaz.. whole morning looking for blogskins.. yesterday was so tired.. didn't even know wad e hell i'm thinking sialx.. miss some1 damn lots.. keep on wanting to message him but resist ler.. write everything into my handphone and saved it.. didn't send.. haiz.. keep on typing and typing.. typed out wad i feel.. cuz i'm really lost.. i think maybe i should wake up ler.. some1 doesn't like me anymore.. and he wouldn't give a damn about me ler.. so i think i should stop dreaming.. haiz.. just when i really needed him by my side, i've lost him.. i really regret not cherishing him last time.. but now regret also too late liaoz lahz.. my whole world came crashing down ler.. i dunnoe wad to do now.. and there's too much that time couldn't erase.. he told me before that no one can replace me.. i'm his one and only? haiz.. is he speaking the truth or he said that just to entertain me? why is he doing this now? i'm really feeling kinda pressure now, and i needed him badly now.. pressure till i wanna quit basketball.. but wad will happen to bball team? then later ah tan will say me this and that and wadeva.. i've really lost my direction le.. but i hereby make my promise.. even if i quit bball, i'll neva leave all of ma budx.. they are the ones who pull me up when i'm breaking down.. haiz.. can't make my decision.. i think i've kinda lost interest in bball ler.. anyway, today morning went to school during monring assembly keep on looking at some1 sialx.. so cute, so handsome.. oops..=x paise paise.. then went straight back to class lorz.. those period was quite sianz lahz.. then went recess, came back to class.. maths! piangx.. so damn stress sialx.. first thing ah tan came in to class then scold and scold sehx.. almost 3/4 of the class failed maths.. piangx.. so pressurize sialx.. the atmosphere inside was like cold and quiet.. then he go le, at least better a bit lahz.. mother tongue period best!! hahaz.. the teacher so nice, can let us disiao him de.. hahaz.. scold bad word then he will like:" eh.. you are a girl you know? cannot like this no manners one hor?" then i reply him:" sorry lorz.." hahz.. fun man! wa! i think realyl no point staying in basketball since i've lost interest liaoz.. and it's like i feel like i'm having a hard time lorz.. wadeva!

dunwan forget you..

2004-09-12T13:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday was a great day man.. went to sentosa in the morning.. hehz =p met at school bus stop at 9 something then all get ready to go sentosa lorz.. then me denise and davina reached the bus stop early.. then the rest of em still haven't ready yet mahz.. so the three of us went to plaza first.. went there to buy something to eat lorz.. so damn hungry sialx.. then reached plza ler.. went to macdonald!! muahahahahaha.. then helped dong and se buy something to eat cuz they were hungry too.. after that went to the bus stop there take 963 to school bus stop there to meet em.. then we were like havoc inside the bus sialx.. on the radio in the bus quite loud.. everyone was like looking at us.. but we heck e hell out of em man! muahahahahaha.. then rest of em was like eating in the bus lorz.. like our house like that sehx.. the journey was quite ong but was okie lahz.. cuz so many budx together mahz.. some more all girls also.. reached there liaoz took bus in and dotx.. reached palawan beach liaoz.. all went to toilet to adjust bikini =x bought some straw mats then settle down there sun tan! piangx.. i so black liaoz still suntan.. siao or wad? hahaz.. but the feeling was really hot man! can burn sialx.. took pictures of ourselves.. so fun! i cannot take it anymore liaoz.. so hot sehx.. jump into the water liaoz, shiok! then inside water got fish sialx.. small small de.. so cute! but kinda digusted also.. =x then nie took the 'cup' to throw water at my back.. cooling man! suddenly, it rain sehx.. liew.. spoil e whole thing.. then so fucking cold lorz.. all of us fater chiong to the shower room, go bath.. then cum out the sun so hot sialx! nabei.. all of us was like sehx~! nvm lorz.. went to seven-eleven to grab something to eat.. so damn hungry! then after the whole thing, sumthing happened.. a really big big thing happened.. everything changed!

heart is broken.. did you notice? or do you even care?

2004-09-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

hmm.. haiz.. yesterday was quite a nice day lahz.. hehez.. kwazimodo merged with happy nations liaoz ler..(breakdance) riko told me:" our club is called the happy nations club becuz we are happy everyday.." hahaz.. =p hope i can be happy everyday yea? hahaz.. yesterday morning went to cc cuz wee they all wanna play bball first.. k lorz.. so go there watch them play.. after that raining liaoz.. actually wanna play in the rain de.. but i want breakdance.. hehz.. =) playing in the rain rocks! then yesterday from afternoon breakdance till evening lorz.. tried lotsa pattern, tried till muscle damn pain.. hahaz.. luckyily, got wee ting there.. help me massage.. but just at that moment some1 appeared.. that some1 went to 226 to play soccer.. with ameer they all.. some1 walked pass me..!! he acted cool not to look at me.. i acted cool like as if i didn't see him like this.. haiz.. really hurts man.. when he walk away liaoz, i turn around to look at him.. but yupz, i told myself: since i wanna forget him, wad for cry? so just close my eyes not to let the tears flow.. just continue to break.. tried not to think about it ler.. hahaz.. when to talk to them.. there's dis korean song which goes like this:"dont wait anymore,please go.. i miss you.. i hate myself for being like this.. feel like crying, i'm so weak.. if only it all never happened.. memories of loving you madly.. the past is searching for you.. can't use love to bind you anymore.. knowing very well it can't be.. but i really miss you so.. i really really wanna forget you.. piangx.. really sounds like how i feel sialx.. haiz.. wadeva! he's already done this liaoz.. wad am i waiting for? forget him lahz! i'll try! try and try and try! haiz.. this period of time really hurts.. really not used to it without him by my side.. he said he would.. but some1 gave me an empty promises.. how come every guy i loved, would wanna hurt me? love really sucks? hurts? it's when the moment i want him back, he didn't want me anymore.. cherish wadeva you have before you lost it!i love some1, but at the same time.. i hate you too!!!!!! you farking broke my farking heart.. haiz.. my heart haven't been mended, it's still broken into million of pieces, and you broke it again.. dunnoe wad my heart becomes liaoz..

it hurts but have to accept the reality..

2004-09-07T11:12:00.000+08:00

haiz.. wadeva! i'm crazee liaoz.. well, i'm always crazee.. hehx.. =p woah.. holidays is kinda boring too.. rather have school bahx.. this holiday for us do wad de? study or relax sialx? siao one.. didn't even give us any homework or tell us exams on which chapter then give us holiday? crazee de.. hmm.. yesterday went to school in e morning for physics lesson lorz.. keke.. so boring sialx.. mdm liew go through physics wrksheet.. then after a while about 45 mins then can go liaoz.. keke.. =) actually they decided to go kap to study de.. but then dunoe why all of a sudden all don't wanna go liaoz.. seh~! then anything lorz.. unis and ting came my house put bags first.. then we went down to eat lunch.. sat at my house downstairs play poker cards.. wearing uniform..=x hehez.. no more next time man.. started to rain liaoz.. heavily.. hahaz.. me, nis and ting faster chiong go play under the rain.. dunnoe why really wanna fall sick.. cuz relationship hurts! rather fall sick let me feel e pain man.. muahahahaha.. but the rain only short while nia.. no fun de.. we walked to cc find wee kiat they all lorz.. they break dancing there mahz, hahaz..! reached there liaoz, was so wet..! ahahks.. then they doing those hand stand and wadeva de.. see liaoz so cool man.. keke.. =p i also want..! so i tried out the hand stand using the wall yea? hahaz.. tried and tried also can't man.. stupid leg sehx.. tried for 1 hour ++ at last can go up le.. hahaz.. so shiok man.. the feeling of learning new things is.....cool! mauhahahaa.. then wee ask me go out do hand stand without the wall.. whoo~! shiok man.. then tried doing seven.. dunnoe how to fall.. now leg, shoulder and back also pain.. piangx.. i so stupid sialx.. from today onwards i'm gonna forget *heartbreaker* and *heartbreaker2*.. no matter wad, i'm gonna give it a go.. no matter how long it takes, i'm gonna forget.. like wad wifey said i've gotta learn to be independent.. yuppie! 'i don't mind spending everyday.. out of your corner is the pouring rain.. look for the girl with the broken smile.. asked her if she wanna stay awhile.. and she will be LOVED!'

better off alone?

2004-09-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

so long never blog liaoz ler.. hehez.. actually not say very long lahz.. muahahaha.. =p this few days was like hard to get hold of the com cuz my brother lorz.. hehez.. everytime using com when i back.. woah piangx.. yesterday was the last training.. keke.. was quite lac actually.. the day before yesterday we still so worried sialx.. whether training will be damn tough anots.. lucky sialx.. hehex.. =) coach's mood was quite good also.. only 13 were present for training liaoz.. leen actually say wanna go de but then end up also never go.. wad sialx.. haiz.. just now went to vien's opendiary see.. saw one phrase quite meaningful sialx.. " time doesn't heal the pain in my heart.. it onlu numbs the pain.. " damn nice sialx.. make sense also.. keke.. september holdiay here liaoz ler.. tuesday going out with nie they all to watch anaconda..! keke.. sure exciting de.. then friday going sentosa with 'em.. yea man! so long never go liaoz since the last time go with *heartbreaker* they all.. =p don't want talk about him liaoz.. talk about him also sianz.. think i really better off alone bahz.. message teddy in the morning.. then reply two nia.. then i say don't disturb him liaoz.. then never reply sialx.. afternoon messaged him again.. never reply me also sehx.. feel kinda sad nia lahz.. but i'm okie.. i don't like him.. i don't like.. i don't like! yupz.. i don't like.. not gonna message him.. gonna endure.. feel like off-ing my phone.. just throw it aside then go out.. walk walk.. a while care about me a while don't.. kinda feeling pissed.. why every guys also like that de? thought he won't like that de.. thought he will always be there for me like wad he says? or he was just saying that out of bored? dunnoe him also lahz.. thought he will be the only guy i will be willing to be with him.. just tell me how he feel can? let me be prepared first.. cry a bit then will okie liaoz. i very fit one.. no problem getting hurt again.. hahaz..! i love getting hurt.. muahahaha.. so FUN!

siao one..

2004-09-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

sianz man! today in school morning assembly raining.. all went back to class.. then i started doing accounts, cuz haven't finish yet mahz.. =p then chiong.. chiong finish liaoz study maths.. then study halfway ah tan came in then say we will not be having maths common test till after the september holidays sialx.. wtf? i sianz diao.. then nvm lorz.. started revising on history.. rushing all e way sialx.. miss lina lesson we had a comprehension common test.. was like totally not in the mood to do lorz.. so just scribble.. miss lina come check ask me write everything in sentence.. i fed up liquid everything and start to do again.. smack her man! piece of bitch.. wad e hell.. wifey was like really not in the mood to do anything also.. mood swing bahx.. casselyn went to other countries liaoz.. to help the combined school to play basketball.. sial larhs.. during recess manda come tell me training tmr instead of saturday sialx.. piangx.. tmr training 1.30pm to 3.30pm sialx.. think will be using lower court cuz ah tan wanna train boys at the upper court.. tmr will be hell man.. piangx.. so tough worx.. but will try to endure lorz.. hope coach will not go crazy.. and i really hope some people will stay at the other court to play soccer.. then at least we'll be using one court nia mahz.. hehez.. hope larhs! but i think maybe he wanna train our stamina bahx.. wanna test our endurance.. haiz.. keep on timing us.. will die man! piangx eh! hope tmr all of the bballers including sec 1 will be there.. endure k? no one should give up! i'll try not to.. =x hahaz.. today quite happy larhs.. cz today first time go do my history test on my own.. muahahaha.. feel so good sehx.. then today after school went to kap to study for accounts lorz.. but didn't really did much bahx.. hope will pass lorz.. liew.. don't wanna fail anymore liaoz sialx.. hehez.. =p! stil haven't bath yet sialx.. miss teddy dear! keke.. =p all e best for my training tomorrow bahz! jia you worx!..

wtf lahz..

2004-09-01T12:19:00.000+08:00

liew.. haiz.. now i rally feeling damn low.. duno wtf i doing now.. dear say i'm confuse with my feelings.. but why? haiz.. i just hate this kinda feeling.. it's really hurt.. maybe i just haven't forget him yet bahx.. i thought i've forget ler.. but everytime see *heartbreaker* everything come back again.. yesterday played bball with him too.. then he was like defending me.. i was like so damn afraid i will fall in love with him again.. i faster move to the other side.. but the other time was like it's his turn to shoot.. then i faster go defend him.. haiz.. just jump over and then move to the other side.. i was like controlling myself, not letting myself to fall in love with him anymore.. told myself i can't.. i can't.. but the more i act in front of him the more hurting i feel.. but if i don't act.. his stead will think i still like him.. i don't want.. i don't want..! haiz.. then *heartbreaker 2* asked me go out with him study.. but i was like keep on giving excuses.. why sialx.. do i really like him mahx? wtf am i doing.. better off alone? haiz.. i want *heartbreaker* still.. but i know i can't.. cuz he's gonna hurt me again.. all the promises he gave are just blank promises.. i know i can't like him anymore.. i'm really trying my very best to control myself ler.. i will hold on there.. not gonna let anything out.. gonna act like as if i hate him so much.. don't wanna let him see my weak side.. so no matter wad, i'm gonna stay there.. i don't wanna fall in love anymore.. i'll stay single.. till my heart's okie.. i'll need lotsa lotsa time to mend my heart my own.. gonna stand up and try to go forward.. don't wanna go back to the past anymore.. he's gonna live in my heart foreva.. even if i still loves him.. i'm not gonna say.. i'll just keep my mouth shut.. i'll go around flirting like nobody's business.. i don't want anyone to care for me.. i don't need anyone by my side.. i'm alrite.. i'm smiling.. =) gonna concentrate on my studies as everything's gone forever.. after all, i'm gonna be alrite.. don't wanna make anyone get mistaken anymore.. i feel like putting everything aside.. and go sleep.. so that nothing will be bothering me.. when i think of it.. it really hurts.. might as well.. close my eyes.. forget him.. i've gotta rmb that he's with her tonight.. forget the song when they play.. *crying all night long* fark the world..

i think i've kinda forget him ler..

2004-08-29T15:29:00.000+08:00

yupz.. woah.. not blogging for so many days ler. was kinda busy.. cuz of my grandpa's funeral.. still can't imagine that my grandpa go ler.. he's like still living in my imagination.. that day just saw him at hospital.. still can talk de.. look at him.. he seems healthy bahx.. then the nurse still gave him an injection.. ouch! his reaction was like so damn pain sialx.. he was like wanting to say something but was too tired to do so.. then thursday he wenta hospital, cuz he didn't eat for 4 to 5 days ler.. then send to hospital.. then the nurse go put something through his nose into his stomach.. liew.. farking pain.. haiz.. then on thurday night.. the doc say he cannot ler.. then haiz.. the next day he was still okie worx.. so jing shen some more.. then on saturday was like really cannot ler.. then go ler.. haiz.. then yesterday was the ceremony last day.. haiz.. then the monk was like saying ask us to see my granpa for one last time.. omg.. that moment was like.. liew.. crying like fark sialx.. haiz.. can't forget every moment of it.. after that walk him out then went to mandai there.. the crematorium.. liew.. the thing there so high-tech sialx.. think not in the mood to talk about that lahz.. then after that at the service hall pray.. then we were all at the viewing hall there.. he was pushed into the cremate thing.. haiz.. then today went to collect e ash.. wth man.. haiz.. farking sad lorz.. relly really can't imagine he go ler.. then went to temple.. haiz.. think i need a few days for me to clam down bahx.. when nothing to do, will think of him.. once i do that tears will flow ler.. even though he not so close to me, just got a feeling that me and him was like so close lorz.. haiz.. suan ler.. everything's over.. he's really gone forever ler.. haiz.. *heartbreaker* think i forget a quarter of him ler.. don't wanna see him anymore.. hahaz.. heard that his friend said that his stead ask him go out eat with her parents.. hahaz.. scare the fuck outta him.. hahaz.. obi! useless chap.. hate him! liew.. then the fark face ah tan sialx.. friday finished school ler.. take off my name tag.. afterwards was caught up by mrs ong.. then talk talk about craps lahz.. sianz.. then saw ah tan came down from the stiars no wonder my friend walk so fast sialx.. i slow mahz.. didn't saw him.. then kena stopped by him.. ask me where's my name tag.. i told him inside my wallet.. then he ask me go to the bookshop and sew it.. fark him man.. then i told him i gotta rush to my grandpa's funeral there.. he fucka ask me just go sew no matter wad.. then say i trying to fool him.. piece of bitch..! then farkface afterwards say wad let me go.. monday want me let him see all my uniform.. i heck the fark outta the farkface.. i wear one bring one ar.. nb..

pale and feeling weak.. it hurts!

2004-08-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

today didn't go school.. wad sialx.. still cannot tahan for one whole week.. piangx, stupid me worx.. then today slept till 1 something, shiok man.. some more raining worx, keke.. =p can sleep till so late, shiok! then after that mama wake me up say must go fetch daddy liaoz.. so hurry up change, then go fetch my father.. he already reached airport liaoz sialx.. hehez.. =) miss him so much.. but he going back this sunday night ler.. must cherish every moment with him bahx.. my daddy is my backup wall.. everytime i gonna fall.. he's gonna be there for me.. so it's okie if i fall, he'll definitely be there to catch me.. love daddy..! keke.. went to my grandma house after fetching my daddy.. went there a while, talk talk.. after that went back home.. on e way back, daddy gave me a story.. it's about history of chan's family past.. woah.. read liaoz was really nice sialx.. now then i understand how they pass their lifes last time.. some parts were really touching.. haiz.. know then understand my grandma was really leading a tough life.. haiz.. poor grandma.. must care for her more liaoz.. hmm.. ah ting told me that she, koonz and ah ping know howta do freeze liaoz ler.. tmr got history test.. study a bit nia.. piangx.. really scared will fail sialx.. today came home at about 5 something today then study a while liaoz, went down to meet zong ping they all lorz.. then tried studying but nothing goes in.. then suddenly *heartbreaker* came lorx.. piangx see him i seh~ sialx.. haiz.. down there i act until like nothing happen, like as if i already don't like him anymore ler.. act till i very sad sialx, piangx.. keep on looking at him but told him i can't look at him anymore ler.. i can't LOOK AT HIM ANYMORE! he's gone forever.. he's not gonna be back.. feel like crying but told myself no point crying.. cuz rmb, he's with her tonite.. haiz.. think of alot today lorz.. but then only make myself sad.. haiz.. but moral of the story, i just can't stop thinking and crying for him.. no one can stop my pain.. no one can mend my heart.. only him.. but i dont wanna be with him anymore, wad he'll do is only hurting me.. i don't wanna see him but i want.. i don't wanna count the taxi.. i wanna go back to e old days with him counting taxi.. sitting down, talking.. but i know thats not gonna happen anymore.. no matter how hard i pray, how hard i try he won't love me.. he won't love me anymore, he didn't even love me before.. i think it's time for me to wake up liaoz.. can't stop dreaming about him ler.. i should stop acting like a fool liaoz.. i hate love! haiz..

i'm mad..

2004-08-24T21:12:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today in class dunnoe wad happen.. was kinda sad cuz of wad koonz told me about.. was like keep on thinking about it.. just can't erase it off my mind.. wtf! then told wifey about it.. she asked me to sing song then go crazee! hehx.. so i followed wad she told me i should do.. i really went crazee.. calling my wifey tits, calling ammar nipple.. =x oops.. hahz.. then keep on imitating zong wei's pop pop sound.. hahaz.. jump around here and there.. then stood at one corner.. crying.. haiz.. don't know why my tears just flowing down like this.. i'm stil forgetting him halfway, and just need a lil more time.. to forget everything about him.. how i wish i can go for brainwash, wash away my memories with him.. those days was really happy.. but everything's over now.. he's gone forever.. gonna think of him in order to forget ys.. but lastly, gonna wish him all e best.. it's raining now, and i feel like going out in the rain.. wanna go walk walk under the rain with the water.. " i don't mind spending everyday, out of your corner in the pouring rain, look for a girl with a broken smile.. asked her if she wants to stay a while, and she will be loved.. " today wenta bpcc tried break dance with the 'Kwazimodo'.. keke.. =p did freeze worx.. hehx.. shiok! but wee2 asked me do hand stand.. sial larhs.. cannot sialx.. nearly fell down worx.. piangx.. saw them do lotsa stunt.. nice man.. aloy pro sialx.. hahaz.. breakdancer.. secret turtle power..? keke.. this few days became guai liaoz.. never pontan school.. keke.. =p guai kia sialx.. hehez.. =) find that my class nwadays was realy fun.. full of craps and stupid ideas.. hahaz..! after that went to ting's house.. went her house do history.. piangs.. do until i wanna fall asleep ler.. tmr going to stay back in school after school.. ?? wad i toking sialx.. i mean going to stay back after school to study while waiting for ting they all.. hehex.. sianz! i have no confdence in love anymore..

let time heal my wounds..

2004-08-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

this morning wake up actually don't wanna go school de.. but don't know why i just went.. hahaz.. silly! keke.. =p mummy brought me to school.. keke.. =p but think she's really tired.. cuz of my grandpa's thingy.. haiz. he passed away.. mummy told me that all of them were surrounding him when he was about to go.. and everyone stayed beside his bed.. praying till his last breath and he went like this.. but it's good anyway lahz.. cuz doesn't hurt mahx.. but was really sad.. just came back from grandpa's funeral.. just now at there feel like bursting out crying.. but controlled.. wanted to walk over to grandpa to see.. but didn't.. cuz i confirm i will really cry de.. haiz.. love you grandpa! haiz.. yesterday chatted on the phone a while, hahaz.. find her this girl damn cute sialx.. dam funny also.. very friendly also bahx.. keke.. caring too.. she love ys as much as i do.. so i think i don't have to worry bahx.. it's time for me to let it go now.. but say the truth.. ys is REALLY A FUCKER! oops..=x sorry sorry.. cannot control ar.. he's really a flirt man.. broke up with me on the 4h of august stead with that girl on the 3rd of august.. wad an idiot.. two-timer.. fark off! but think i still missing him bahx.. but i think i need a lil more time lorz.. sure can forget de.. and at that time i forget.. ting! you must give me pink colour rain hor.. keke.. =p! i'm a farker..! i'm a typical idiot! i'm a PIECE OF BITCH.. muahahahah.. =p 8221 rockx..

before the battle has started, i've already lost..

2004-08-22T00:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday morning went to school for physics lesson.. but then didn't see my wifey.. guess she overslept bahx.. hahz.. that pig.. finsh physics liaoz then went to plaza with gabriel, sor hoon, wee kiat and wee ting lorz.. then follow up met up with koonz.. then called minyew to come lorz.. then halfway saw shortie, ammar and zul.. so ask them come in join us lorz.. went there eat my favourite mac!! heh hehx.. =p! eat finish mac liaoz go walk walk.. hehez.. we went to ice lemon tee, mini toons.. then koonz go buy something for her dear.. keke.. =) from mini toons pull them go ntuc there.. keke.. cuz there got sell pacifier.. hahz.. saw the pink colour and orange together de.. keke.. nice man! after see finish those baby's thingy, all of us went to comics connection see see.. then saw one winnie the pooh, red colour de.. so cute sialx~! $14.90 nia.. hahz.. my next target.. heh hehx! =0 then eunice finished her training ler, so ask her come plaza meet us lorz.. after that some went home.. left me, unis, minyew, ting, wee kiat, sor hoon.. all of us went to zul's house downstairs play monopoly and poker card.. =x suddenly feel like drinking bubble tea sialx.. so pull minyew and ting together with me.. then buy liaoz go my house downstairs talk lorz.. chat awhile they tired ler, so all went home ler.. eddie they called me go down my house downstairs chat again sialx.. then i at home 'lightbulb' mahz.. so went down chat chat with em lorz.. chat ahwile then follow them go 213 play bball.. then played till evening the rest of em came lorz.. + *heartbreaker* too.. this time not only him but with his stead.. then i was like seh~ sianz diao.. but told myself in the beginning of the battle, i've already lost.. cuz *heartbreaker* and that girl was already stead when he sec 1 lorz.. so can conclude that he didn't love me at all lorz.. when playing bball.. was in same team as him.. but tried not to get near him cuz dont want his stead to jealous mahz.. saw his stead, not bad larhs.. quite chio also.. got those kinda friendly look.. heard his friends say he treat his this stead damn good.. hahaz.. good to hear tat bahx.. hope they can last lorz.. hahaz.. =p i'm okie.. i'm alrite.. just that when ronald came i went crazy with him and qifeng.. both of us was like lunatic sialx.. but was really fun.. enjoyed myself.. thanks worx!

hate koor to the core!

2004-08-19T21:07:00.000+08:00

liew.. today in school actually okie de lehx.. but then hor, when mrs koor came in was like seh~! all so noisy.. wad sialx.. but must admit, our class very naughty during her lesson one.. actually test is on monay we can postpone till next week de monday.. hahaz..! then during her lesson, me and lane-ee passing letters to each other worx.. koor saw us passing letter, confiscated it.. actually continue teaching de.. but then we all damn noisy, she asked us to keep quiet.. we all don't wanna listen.. continue making so much noise.. then she bth( buay tahan, papa teach de..) ya.. she bth then after that went out of class.. then actually almost everyone change sit de.. once she get out of class, we all thought she went to call ah tan.. all faster change back to original seats..! hahaz.. reaction so fast sialx.. Mr. Chow came to our class kpkb us.. then say wad "cannot talk then must use passing letters ar?" wad sialx.. at least we didn't talk wad.. then after Mr.Chow go off liaoz ler.. then someone from our class go call Mr.Tan.. then ah tan came to our class say those not involve one go in front.. then almost whole class go in front sialx.. left 5 of us.. farking shit lorz.. impossible only 5 of us talking in her lesson lorz.. our class really not united one sialx.. all don't want admit they talk.. hate them manx.. at least ppl like jun long, joanne those say never talk never mind lorz.. then the rest like wad sialx.. haiz.. then ah tan ask us stand here stand there go here go there.. idiot! piangx.. then at last went to general office.. he say tmr go explain to cher then go find him.. liew.. haiz! then after that went to beauty world take name tag lorz.. then went to see whether got sell pacifier nots.. then went to the baby departmental store.. saw this pacifire damn cute!!! it says: i love mama.. hahaz.. cute lehx? still got one is : papa is the best!.. ahahks.. nice nice! then saw one got hippo pattern de.. pink colour some more.. that one rocks man.. hahaz.. =p gonna go buy ler.. muahahahah.. =)

always be there for you.. whenever you need us..

2004-08-18T20:40:00.000+08:00

dear cum darling ar.. i know now wadeva i say also won't go in your mind de.. ask you cheer up you will just say okie.. but i know you wont, cuz deep now in your heart, it really hurts yea? maybe can understand bahx.. but we budx wanna help damn damn lot.. but we've got nothing to do except to make you feel happier when you are with us.. it's really unfair for you to go through all this.. you shouldn't habe go through this de.. kinda see you hard communicating with em.. know you kinda having nightmare now.. but just close your eyes, relax.. everything's gonna be over soon.. we'll always be there for you whenever you need us.. we'll be there forever.. having lotsa hatred in your heart? like you said, things are meant to be like this de.. they are fated.. "god made us go through all this because he wants us to be a stronger person.." really hurts to see you acting strong, acting like nothing happen.. i don't want.. we don't want.. we want you to shouw how you really feel.. don't show the other way round.. at least let us know, so that we can console you.. if you're feeling bad, feeling sad.. just cry it all out k? no point bear with it, you will just hurt yourself.. at least if you cry, you'll definitely feel better.. don't feel that you're pulling us down with you.. you're not, don't feel bad.. we really wanna help you, so dont worry about you pulling us down with you.. rmb, YOU ARE NOT! dunoe how you are feeling now.. but wadeva happens, close your eyes thinking bout times when you are with us.. it's really pain for you to go through all this.. and it may even leave a scar in your heart.. just hold on a little longer k? maybe at least can help to cheer you up.. or call us.. we'll rush down de.. promised! maybe you can say out how you feel towards them.. maybe they really don't understand how you feel.. you don't say no one will know how you feel de bahx.. everything will be over de!
to: dear cum darling..
hmm.. today went to school in e morning, wear contact lens the other way.. hahaz.. stupid.. see everything like so blur de sialx.. *gong* hahaz.. then didn't change also.. went back to class, feel so tired sialx.. have two periods english and two periods maths.. ah tan came to our class sehx.. sat beside my table.. i've got moses' name tag.. seh~! lucky he never catch sialx.. feel like slping but hold there.. cuz ah tan just right beside me nia.. phew! then after school stayed back in school to study while waiting for ah ting to finish her badminton training.. tmr have history test sialx.. if fail then 4 hours of intensive remedial.. piangx.. stress! study study then feel so boring go walk walk.. then someone came to tell me that 'yl' likes other girls ler.. haiz.. woah.. then i seh~ lorz.. still write his name on my hand sialx.. i was shocked but act like nothing happen in front of my friends.. sad is sad lahz.. but at least he can be happy bahx.. i wouldn't need to mind anything anymore bahx.. =p!

chanqes

2004-08-17T20:10:00.000+08:00

holla holla ! dhis be kwaziee alaneyz bettuhr known as jamie`s wifey . ehehehe.. =P hacked into ma wifey`s a/c aqens . nah, ime juhs keedinqs ! came in here juhs tooh chanqe tha sonq in ma wifey`s bloq, as requested baii her . entitled " everytime " and sunq baii britney spears, hope yoo qhuys enjoy iht yea ? ahahahaks.. aiite, imma qoe bounce now . ttyl !!

btw, ii hate bloqqer`s new ad thinqy . iht totally destroys ppol`s layowts baii coverinq tha banner . *qrrrss..

- - - pieces of alaneyz`14

yu xia zhen ye,wo de ai yi chu jiu xiang yu shui..(qi li xiang)

2004-08-16T15:15:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday woked up at 10:30am to wrap ken's present.. gave him two pads, ahahks.. but then very nice worx.. orange colour some more.. his favourite colour mahx.. hahaz.. firstly, put the ... into the envelopes, then wrapped it with wrapping paper, (minnie mouse de).. keke.. =p seondly, wrapped it with 10 pieces of newspapers, lastly, wrapped it with another very shining de wrapping paper.. ahaks.. so thick sialx.. went to bath, at bout 12:15pm.. actually meeting at 1 de.. then all late so 'postpone' the time to even later lorz.. bout 2 something.. then from12 something all the way till 2 something keep on choosing clothes, still can't make my decision.. woah piangx.. almost late when meeting nie they all.. made them wait quite long.. paise ar.. =) saw denise wear the white colour de skirt.. a bit not used to it.. =p hmm.. walked to bus interchange took 190 go town lorx.. inside bus so diam sialx.. almost fell asleep, keke.. nie touched my butt.. hahz.. $500 hor, nie! get down the bus went to cineleisure first.. actually wanna watch the notebook de.. but then NC16.. sianz! in the end, watch secret window.. hahaz.. then today in school there saw people taking srew driver.. scarded sialx.. hahaz.. =p! before watch movie we went to take neoprint.. thought will come out very nice de.. didn't know.. so fast, cannot choose, decorate also no time one sialx.. so few people at cineleisure worx.. funny sialx.. why ar? hmm.. after watch finish movie about 7 something liaoz.. we went to esplanade to watch fireworks.. squeezed inside sialx.. then the whole bridge on top full sialx.. how i wish can stand on top.. can get to see the whole view of it.. but below also not bad lahz.. so nice sialx the fireworks.. first time i go there 'xian chang zhi buo' hahz.. face to face with fireworks.. keke.. then quite lot ppl clear liaoz.. decided not to go take mrt first.. cuz damn squeezy de.. so wait there lorz, see the singapore river.. the river breeze nice sialx.. cool! then sat down.. all nothing to do.. pat started biting ppl.. hahaz.. bite youse till most jialat one.. haaz.. ouch! went to take bus to paragon there de swensens' to eat.. hahz.. thanks worx, nicole! muackx.. inside ken imitate the people's laughter beside us.. ahahks.. cute! funny.. then torture ken.. we mixed tomato, chilli, pepper and salt.. ask him swallow it, ask him drink two cups of water in 20 sec.. then nie ask ken to drink water+a bit of ice cream.. keke.. =p yucks! poor ken worx.. stomach feeling weird yea? hahaz.. sorry worx..

buddy rocks!

2004-08-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

woah.. today went to school then go run one round then have to go find ah tan liaoz.. then ah tan at there talk so much cock, in the end also never settle anything.. eat shit! =x ok.. paise lost control.. then he ask us to stay back on monday after founder's day to explain to the stupid pe teacher.. piangx.. wad the shit man..! today training power man.. haiz.. liew.. ah tan at first say wanna use upper court de.. then we go tell him we using upper court normally de.. then after that he say wanna use upper court for some napfa thingy..! where got lorz? they also do normal drills.. napfa his head man.. then make us use lower court.. then they say lao heng maybe can come maybe cannot.. so we just do those drills ourself lorz.. trying to make ourself sweat.. thought lao heng come liaoz will very good to us, won't scold us.. didn't know he reach liaoz then kpkb us.. wad sialx.. made me so angry sialx! liew.. unfair lorz.. then after that we didn't blockout properly he ask us to do scissors done to and fro.. now my leg so wobbly sialx.. woah!! humph.. then after training so tired sialx.. went canteen saw fire opposite school there.. at first thought was npcc doing some woods de thing.. hahaz.. came out see liaoz seh~.. hahaz.. =p then after that went out with nie,dong,se,bee,ken,pat,farhanah,myran.. hahaz.. we went causeway.. then ah dong go crazy.. all the way crazy sialx.. hahaz.. she cannot control herself worx.. siao one.. =p then hair style until like crazy woman like that.. haiyo! then reached causeway liaoz.. me,ken,se,farhanah go take noeprint.. keke.. nice! then after that se no mood liaoz.. ken don't want take liaoz.. then me and denise take nia.. very nice! hahaz.. neoprint rocks! muahahahax.. =) then go buy b-day pressent for ah ken.. keke.. then me and nie did something very wrong.. hahaz.. shh.. no one knowz.. =p next time cannot liaoz le hor.. keke.. =p then slack at mac.. when talking to hao, laugh like crazy! hahx.. really fun man! heh hehx.. got the song from jay chou.. qi li xiang and jie kou.. nice! keke.. =p shiok! tmr still going to town with nie they all to watch movie worx.. hahaz.. *miss him so much* but can't think of him.. don't wanna break my record of not crying for five days liaoz.. haiz.. today they went to sentosa.. *heartbreaker* brought his girl there also.. still ask me go.. i then don't want!! humph.. don't wanna give up on loving you.. but i'm trying my best.. really trying to forget you now.. feeling lonely, feeling down without you here by my side.. but since you've left me, i can only let you be a part of my memory.. you still have a place in my heart.. a big place.. my heart couldn't get any other people down liaoz ler.. there's only you and one and only you in my heart.. no one can replace you.. wang ji ni bu shi yi jian hen rong yi de shi!!

i'm feeling much better liaoz..

2004-08-13T19:29:00.000+08:00

hmm.. hahaz.. yeah man! change my blog liaoz ler.. heh hehx.. thanks wifey!! help me changed my blog ler.. one whole day wifey busy about doing my blog sials.. still have to do unis de, and her own one.. haiz.. i so ma fan sialx.. sorry ar wifey.. have to trouble you so much nehx.. guilty liaoz ler.. a million thanks to wifey! find this blog quite suits me worx.. =x hahaz.. also heartbroken de.. keke.. =p the words so meaningful sehx.. just wad i wanna say.. hahaz.. hmm.. today go school so happy sialx.. bt a bit scared scared cuz gotta take hep B.. hahaz.. thought very pain de.. luckily man, philip! don't need kena whack by me and alane.. ahahks.. had pe during first two periods, shiok man! i didn't bring any pe stuff, so wear uniform play volleyball! =x then played and played, piangx.. so hot sial.. sweat all over.. heh hehx.. playful nehx? keke.. =x then after that saw ah tan running 2.4 km.. hahaz.. so cute sialx.. body lean forward de.. la bi xiao xing! =x oops,sorry sorry..! now listening to fen shou kuai le worx.. wooh~! then after tat finish pe liaoz ler, tan came to our class.. but i didn't know.. cuz me and alane go take hep B jab.. woah.. at first so scared sialx.. go round asking mi friends whether pain nots.. so lor sor one sehx.. we dily-daly inside the shaw 'theatrete'(english fail..forget how to spell ler..) ya.. then walk here walk there go find people for taking heptitis b jab de.. hmm.. my class having the maths test mahz.. so we decided not to go back so early yets lorz.. then leen describe *heartbreaker*'s new stead to me.. imagine it.. so funny.. hahaz.. but then he like can liaoz lahz. not my business.. haiz.. hmm.. ya.. then when came back from recess, tan came to our class kpkb.. pe teacher told ah tan that when geelyn is there some of my classmates(girls) told pe teacher that geelyn is not there.. then some of us not even involved he ask us to go back to school at 7:30am just to settle this problem which we totally dunnoe wad's going on.. piangx.. luckily i tmr got training, so going back to school anyway, liew.. if not hor, sure damn angry de.. bo liao sial he.. nothing to do.. tmr got training, sianz diao.. hope wouldnt be so tough.. shit! tmr got napfa test worx.. they will be using the upper court.. then we lehz? lower court we will be using?? omg.. both courts worx.. die liaoz..

i don't wanna let go yet.. i still wanna hold on to you for a while more.. i want a hug from you one last time..

2004-08-11T21:16:00.000+08:00

hmm.. this few days so fun.. the day before yesterday went to nie's house.. before that went to meet youse at pending lrt there.. i brought stuff for staying over at nie's house.. then when meet youse ler, saw she never bring anything sialz.. then i was like.. seh~ hahaz.. but nvm lahz.. so we went take lrt to choa chu kang, world of jj there meet myran.. =p! made myran wait.. hahaz.. then meet until him ler, kenrick and dong also came liaoz.. then we took mrt to causeway point meet nie.. all of wear jersey, the jersey that we buds made together de.. muahahahaha.. =) then we went to eat my favourite mac!! hehez.. then after that walk walk, nie suggested that we go take neoprint.. so we just went le lorz.. keke.. me,dong,nie,se,myran and kenrick.. hahaz.. took two times sialx.. shiok man! love taking neoprints.. dunnoe why worx.. heh heh.. =) bluff dong and myran we gonna watch movie.. hahaz, they believed sialx.. *gong* hehez.. =p then went to nie's house.. settle down ler, go her living room watch [baby's day out].. hehez.. so cute sialx.. then after that almost watch finish ler, her father ask us go eat dinner.. then myran and kenrick poor thing sialx.. forced to eat everything down.. piangx.. then after that went to watch NDP show.. then watch fireworks, then after that watch singapore idol.. hahaz. the lemon tree guy damn funny.. dance until don't know like wad sialx.. wanna be second william hung liaoz ler.. and the striper too.. ahahz.. woah piang.. i think that's not the place for him to strip? =p after that went to bath.. then confirmed staying at her house also.. youse and ken also staying.. myran and dong went home liaoz.. wad sialx.. hmm.. then ka jiao timothy.. hahz.. message him at bout 12 something ar? then ask him wake up to urine.. hahaz.. =p paise ar.. hmm.. then sleep till next morning went to eat breakfast.. cannot finish.. cuz really very hot.. then after that went causeway, nie didn't go.. dunnoe why also.. then meet bee there.. waited for dong so long.. myran can't come, he went to play bball.. then we went to take neoprints again..! muahahaha.. shiok man.. take twice also.. heh hehx.. nice nice worx! today dind't go to school.. hahaz.. pon tan again.. haiyo.. then training also never go.. damn naughty sialx.. hmm.. me and ys..? is it the end liaoz? is this how it gonna end? still don't wanna let go.. still wanna hold on to him for a while.. and i'll take my time to forget.. but i don't know how long will i take.. dunoe wad wil comeup next.. he now? think leading a comfortable life now.. got stead liaoz mahz.. hope his this stead will treat him very nice, hope he will cherish her too.. don't break her heart.. treat her nice bahx.. but i don't think he will listen de norx.. i dunnoe wad he is thinking.. just feel like giving him two tight slap so that he will wake up.. don't wanna get hurt anymore.. kinda no faith in love liaoz.. can't believe in love liaoz.. now is like so lonely worx.. but luckily got all my friends there for me.. [loneliness]= [nightmare] love him so much, and he hurt me so much.. does he know the feelings of getting hurt? haiz.. i'm a girl worx.. i'm weak, can't take it anymore.. already break down liaoz.. but yet have to stand up on my own again.. i've given him too many chances liaoz.. get hurt too many times liaoz.. i tired ler.. i love him but don't wanna be with him liaoz.. wan to be with him lots.. but don't wanna get hurt ler..

i'm not asking you to bring me back the moon, all i need is just a little help that can only come from you..

2004-08-08T17:49:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday went to my cousin's condominium there to have barbeque.. then i went to her house at bout 2 something, mama fetch me there.. then my cousin told me she going to bring her friends, 14 of them.. so many sialx.. sianz diao~ but after that still followed her lorz.. went to jurong green community club there de mac go meet them.. then saw got one guy playing bball there.. hahaz.. dunnoe how to play de.. act until like so pro like that.. *vomits* =x hehez.. hmm.. then waited for all of her friends to reach first.. then walk to the bus stop.. then took bus back send them to my cousin's house first.. all put down bags, then some of them went down play volleyball.. the journey i so diam sialz.. hahaz.. cuz don't know them so well at first, so didn't talk much.. feel so extra sehx.. then after chyi and two of her friends acc me go beauty world take name tag.. got one of them is called marcus.. hahaz.. he likes to crap a lot, talk lotsa rubbish.. hahaz.. cute, funny..! hehez.. he talk talk talk then laugh laugh laugh.. can't keep his mouth shut de..say wad on engine and wadeva de.. keke.. but really enjoyed myself.. then take bus back to cousin's house.. went up to her house, they all seating inside her room.. then i like so extra sehx.. went in then they talk about their things.. hahaz.. but then understandable lahz.. then after that cousin't mother ask us to bring the things down.. all started working.. then chyi like so busy.. a while entertain me, a while entertain her friends.. makes me feel so bad sehx.. then after that started bbq-ing.. then cousin't mother nag and nag.. piangz.. think if i chyi's friend sure don't like it de.. then eat eat play play.. yi xuan crazy sialx.. go around beating people.. then about 8 something went dwn talk to chyi's friend.. then they playing poker.. the don' t know why all started playing with water, splash here and there.. then some of them even kena thrown into the water.. hahaz.. went up bath,eat and everything. went to chyi's room played poker cards, then about 12 something some of em wanna sleep liaoz.. i still dont feel like slping yet.. so went out to watch tv.. they watch the dunnoe wad chinese show.. then after that watch another ghost show then after that watch double vision.. didn't get much slp.. at most slept for 2 hours nia bahz.. all the way till this morning 8 something sehx.. then waked some of them up.. crapping lots outside lorz.. hahaz.. they went swimming, we went kap eat mac! hehx hehx.. hmm.. then mama came fetch me from chyi's house.. went to imm.. mama bought wallet for me worx.. nice man.. then went to buy S* =x.. keke.. then mama bought a handphone keychain for me also.. it wrotes:" i love you forever.." hmm.. how i wish ys will say that to me.. suddenly think of him sehx.. haiz.. miss him so much.. but can't do anything.. *stranded* still remembered got once, andrew push me.. then ys saw he walked over to andrew ask him:" you bully her ar?" piangz!! do so many things made me think he really love me a lot.. but in the end, i'm just bluffing myself.. wad e hell!! got no faith in love anymore.. "i am not asking you to bring me back the moon, i just wanted you to love me with all you can.." i'm fooled again.. it's the fourth time liaoz.. but no matter wad, i still can't forget you.. how i wish i could go brainwash erase the memory of me and you.. it left a scar in my heart.. i'm going to the hospital to sew my heart back.. "has anyone have any antidote for broken hearts?' i really need it a lot! my heart is bleeding lots.. if i had a chance, i don't wanna know you in the first place, so you won't have a chance to leave a scar there! *sob* it really hurts man.. do you knoe? i'm dying here, cuz of broken hearts, do you even care?

i can't take it..

2004-08-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

today was our school celebrating national day.. hahaz.. hmm.. tried my best to place a smile on my face.. don't wanna pull long face, then in the bus, so squeezy seh.. then the imran.. piangx! hate him man! ask him to do the playcard then he lehz? next day bring to school like nothing sehx.. only draw and colour a bit.. saw other classes de so nice sialz.. not like ours.. so me and alane decided to do last minute work.. so we drew in the bus.. hahaz.. alane draw the 3 four.. i draw the 'my singapore,my home..' nice lehx.. keke.. of course lahz.. must see who draw de mahz.. mauahhahha.. then outline it, find it quite nice worx.. when reach there liaoz watch the performance, out school dance club went up to perform.. nice worx..! really nice! hahaz.. then got a bunch of primary school de kids went up to dance.. so cute sialx.. all small small size de.. then still got one school dunoe do wad de.. something like 'cookin'.. then reach inside discovery ceentre walk and walk, eat.. hahaz.. me, alane, eunice, wee ting and yeng koon.. we used the paper that the discovery centre gave us, then fold into a circle like that then whack each othe's head.. shiok ar! keke.. very very fun.. then after that went lot one eat mac.. then walk walk.. went to mini toons, key chain so nice sialx.. so cute.. then went to 'gift a name' saw the sort of pillow de.. hahaz.. words so meaningful, so touching sehx.. woah!then finish liaoz go home take volleyball play with ting and alane.. then went home.. after that at night my kor kor go eat dinner.. hahaz.. so funny sial, ah kor.. cheered me up when i'm feeling so depressed so helpless.. hmm.. i guess i really can't take anymore ler.. cannot imagine life without him.. now i'm going through all this pain, does he know? i don't think so.. it's something like argh.. i don't know how to say.. but i can't live in this world without him, i still can't adapt to this.. i still cant accept the fact.. why did he wanna do this to me? my heart was already broken into millions of pieces.. i'm so depressed! can cry anytime.. i'm feeling damn weak.. *heartbreaker*: don't love me then don't tell me you love me, dont tell me you will care for me, don't touch me! don't love me in the first place, don't tell me you do.. cuz if you don't know, i'll surely believe wadeva you say de.. i tried not giving you too much pressure le, it's not that we meet veri difficult lorz.. don't give excuse lahz.. haiz.. i know you don't need me, but i need you.. i really need you by my side.. but i know that will be impossible.. so wad i can do is only to face the reality, cry for all i want, wadever i do, just don't come into my life again.. just let me cry for all i want.. i really wanna go back to you, but i must control myself.. you've just stabbed a knife in my heart, if you take it out i'll die.. so just leave it there.. no matter how long, no matter wad, i still loves you.. no matter how yuou change, how you become.. you are still the ys i love in my heart.. my heart is always with you.. don't bother to return me.. i dont want it back.. keep it or break it.. you choose..

the last blow..

2004-08-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

*heartbreaker*hmm.. i don't know how i should start this and i don't know where i should start from.. i really damn devastated ler.. i don't know what i should do now.. i'm really feeling terrible.. this is the first time for the one guy whom i've loved so much, loved so deeply in my life before.. and he is the guy who hurt me the most.. hurt me till i couldn't take it anymore.. like wad 'papa' told last time.. "highest level.." he've hurt me at the highest level.. he brought me to heaven, i'm almost reaching ler.. one step closer and i'm gonna reach heaven but lightning strucked me straight down to hell, without any consideration.. why? it's really hurts.. the last time i patched with him, i am almost able to stand up again.. but he stepped into my life again, let me lean.. my wall, my wall collapsed, i've got nothing to lean on anymore.. i'm falling down.. yesterday went to wee ting's house to sleep.. played poker cards so happily, messaged him happily.. the message says:"dear.. i miss you so much.." he didn't reply.. so i send again.. the same message.. he still didn't reply.. so i don't bother first lorz.. but kinda sense that something will happened.. but didn't think about it, cuz don't want anyhow think mahx.. then continued playing cards, played and played.. *1 message recieved* [-hubBy-]:"i just reached home.." i was so happy so i reply him lorx.. i said "hahaz.. okie.. tired mahx?" then he said:" no ... ask u something ... tell me the truth ..." i scareded.. so i ask him:" okie.. ask lorz.." then he say:"i think lar ... we meet each other veri difficult ... then wat u think" me:"hmm.. you think difficult mahx? i tried liaoz.. to meet you whenever i can liaoz.. so if you think is difficult then how?" him:"don know lar ..."me: "then you feel like breaking mahx?" (jus helping him to minus his stress..) him:"don know lar ... veri the fan ..." me:"hmm.. it's okie de.. if you wanna break so that you won't be so fan lorx.. i'm okie.. as long as you're happy k? go find another girl who can acc you de.. jia you.. i will forget you de.. =) i'm perfectly okie.." him:"i don tink i wanna find other gals liao ..." me:"okie okie.. hmm.. then don't find concentrate on your studies lorx.. so we now break le hor.. don't message me hao ma..? let me forget you.. i will try.." him:"but we can be friend ... not only friend can be best friend ..." me:"pls.. don't want.. i sure can't forget you de, if we remain best friend.. let me go away from you.. my heart really hurts but anyway, thanks for giving me one last chance.. really cherish it.. last time i gonna say i love you to you.. ai ni.." i told myself this will be the last blow lorz.. after this blow then it's gonna finish me off.. really finished me off.. luckily went to wee ting's house.. if not no one will know what happened.. ah ting gave me a hug, asked me cry everything out.. felt much better.. but then cried till very terrible.. eyes swollen liaoz, then tell myself next day go school must be damn happy.. cannot let anyone know it really hurts in the inside.. so today morning went to school.. but when reached bus stop ler, saw *heartbeaker* walking towards his house downstairs, don't dare to walk over.. don't dare to face him, don't dare see him, scared i will cry so just act stupid i didn't see him.. after that a bit don't feel like being happy.. but don't want unis they all worry for me.. so i just kept my smile there.. tried not to think about it.. ting keep on asking me whether i okie nots.. then told her i'm okie.. still laughing out ne.. thought i wouldn't cried anymore.. wrote some things inside my school diary.. didn't cry too.. then alane wanted to read the book so i just hand her the book lorz.. she read until the last part:"last time i gonna say i love you to you.. ai ni.." she stunned.. and she started crying.. i was still calm at that time.. then told her:" hahaz.. cry for wad? crazy.. which part you read?" she pointed to me.. and started crying.. i smiled, but in the end, still can't take it.. so cried ler.. cried till very terrible again.. i've controlled my tears for the first few 10 periods, so just burst out crying.. cried liaoz felt much better.. wifey orangey! see lahz.. who ask you to cry.. haiyo..! then cried finish liaoz.. continue with my smile.. hang the smile back.. reached home le, still smiling cuz tin and unis at my house.. told unis about it.. she stunned also.. then laugh and laugh after that heard [xiuxiuxiu] by ocean ou de yang.. suddenly think about him, cannot take it so cry again.. haiz.. i'm gonna go blind if i don't stop crying, but i couldn't control my tears.. i'm very tired.. i'm still not prepared yet, and he just break off with me.. funfair ar?! so fun eh.. now trying to act brave in front of him.. act like i've liked other guys liaoz.. act like i'm a flirt.. dont wanna let him know i'm so weak de.. argh! just get lost! don't stepped into my life anymore.. my heart is now in a million of pieces because of you.. congrats..!

tao yan larhs..

2004-08-04T19:45:00.000+08:00

piangx! haix.. today didn't see him sehx.. in school miss him so much thought can go see him after training.. but then lehx? can't.. cuz i went home bath first, then messaged him told him bath finish go find him.. then after that he told me that he going home ler, cuz later going out.. woah piangx! miss him so much sehx.. one day didn't see him ler, then yesterday only see him a while nia.. haiz.. never mind.. i endure.. =0 i'll try, but really can't stop thinking of him.. argh..! hate my phone.. send but then dear cannot recieve.. i did sent liaoz.. but then dear never recieve my message sehx.. piangx.. like that also can de ar? stupid phone.. hmm.. later going wee ting's house to stay then tmr straight go school.. hahaz.. like that i confirm will go school liaoz.. hahaz.. wifey orangey found her love liaoz.. is ------ hahaz, good for her man! so happy for her.. orangey.. think he's really a nice guy you should go for worx.. cannot missed this opportunity, guess you and him surely last de.. so no sweat! hahaz.. =p you won't be heartbrokened being with him.. you sure be the world most happiest women.. keke.. =) today got basketball training.. damn lag sialx.. so fun some more.. keke.. me and casselyn played 2-0n-2 full court with ah noy and zu er.. hahaz.. fun! but a while nia.. then afterwards played 5-on-5 with 'c' girls.. hahaz.. fun too! youse so cute sialx.. so violent also.. keke.. =p annie kena suspended by ah tan.. piangx.. from 2 all the way to 6 sialx.. *peifu*i three hours also cannot take it liaoz.. she still can 4 hours eh? pro sehx.. hmm.. tmr think can see hubby le bahx.. most probably lorz.. hope can also.. can't wait to see him.. miss him so much ar!! going crazy ler.. hahaz.. today during recess dunnoe wad happen all of the sudden feel so funny, keep on laughing and laughing, then beat yong quan, played with ting.. argue with jia liang.. so fun ar! hahaz.. find that actually school also quite fun worx.. Mr.Ma Zhou teach maths also not bad lahz.. interesting.. all the subject suddenly like so nice sialz.. this morning wake up dunnoe whether wanna go school nots, then took coin out to toss.. head go school tail don't go.. first is tail then follow up is head.. then after still not happy.. so went to message hubby.. told him i tired, dunnoe whether wana go school nots.. then he say go lar.. then i go.. keke.. powerful lehx? hahaz.. he've got mie² power! mesage him didn't reply sialx.. what he doing?? haiz.. *jamie is mentally unstable..*

love him alot!!

2004-08-03T15:31:00.000+08:00

hmm.. hehez.. still missing my dear a lot worx.. hehez.. sianz.. hmm.. yesterday hubby they all came my house play.. hahaz.. so fun worx.. then after that went to my house downstairs actually wanna go play bball de.. but then after that accompany my mama go eat dinner then they want go home liaoz.. so never go with them lorx.. spent my time with hubby, hahaz.. nice! yesterday didn't went school cuz have rashes.. damn itchy sehx~! piangx.. cannot stand ar.. whole day scratching.. but hubby say cannot scratch so never go touch liaoz lorx.. became much better liaoz.. =p mdm liew didn't went to school for 2 days liaoz ler.. when i came back from school, saw her at market sehx.. piangx.. pon school.. keke.. =x today go school so sianz.. morning assembly.. 20 mins sialz.. cuz all teachers go for dunnoe wad thing.. make us stay under the sun.. so hot ar! then went back to class Ms.Por talk so much cock sialx.. bo liao! then came miss lina.. we had vocabulary test.. i didn't study worx.. but can get 7.5 marks.. hahz.. pro nehx? yesterday went to ah ting's house slp.. keke.. =p played poker cards till 12 something then ah ting cook supper foor me to eat then after that rest talk talk a while then go slp.. so cold sehx.. two blankets still not enough.. but stay at her house very not xi guan.. still my bed nicer lahz.. hahaz.. =x just linked eunis' de blog.. ahahks.. hmm.. my hubby now treat me very nice.. haiz.. thanks a lots dear! i've hand you my heart this time ler, don't break it hao ma..? hubby's like my wall.. for me to lean on.. i'm afraid that if i lose him, i sure collapse, nothing for me to lean on.. don't wanna lose him anymore.. if this time i lose him again, i don't wanna fall in love anymore.. i'll wanna be with him even in my dreams.. he's really the first ever guy whom i've loved so deeply.. never gonna give up anymore, never gonna forget him anymore.. don't wanna be brave liaoz, don't wanna be strong liaoz.. got him can ler.. tmr got training ler, sianz ar.. hope it wouldn't be so tough bahx.. bai tuo bai tuo..

miss dear dear..

2004-08-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

kinda miss my dear a lot sialx.. piangx.. hmm.. just came back from 213 playing bball.. keke.. so shiok sial.. played bball.. but then didn't really play that well.. cuz not in the mood to play bball.. saw wifey alaneyz's blog.. hahaz..! nice!! but the picture of the monkey doesnt look like sialx.. maybe other kinda monkeys? me still haben't bath yet.. eyes damn pain sialx, damn uncomfortable.. hmm.. yesterday's training was nice.. haahz.. first time bballers all so attentive sialx.. coach damn satisfied with us.. then all of us thought we so guai liaoz don't need to go chiong bukit timah hill liaoz.. didn't know last minute he says, :hmm.. later who going for the running at bukit timah hill? it's good for you all, not for me not for the school.. it's to train your leg, very good.." wadeva wadeva.. ya.. hahaz.. then was like all seh~ thought we so guai can go home liaoz.. haiz.. then char, pat, eunice, qiu ping nevr come training.. piangx! so angry sehx.. but i last time also like that lahz.. keep on pon tan training one.. =p but now kinda change liaoz.. yesterday still kena shooted by heng.. he say:" woah.. nowadays wan yue became better liaoz ar? saturday not late, never sprain until leg, never overslept le horx?" then i was like *nod nod* nia.. then after yesterday's morning training, we eat in school, eat finish liaoz go slack in school till 12.. then from school go all the way till beauty world slack some more.. we went to eat.. .. .. .. .. my favourite mac!!! hahaz.. ate french fries.. shiok man.. then after went to the B1 there sit on the chair, me dong se like wanna slp liaoz.. nie and bee like so active sial, walk here walk there.. hahaz.. hmm.. slack at there till so damn freaking tired, ji tao no strength.. don't feel like going but still must go de.. then from beauty world walk till the bus stop there wait for manda they all, zheng fang ans justina.. last minute lehx? zheng fang and manda they all inside liaox.. piangx.. naughty sialx.. then ar.. from bus stop all the way walk in, keep on kajiao dong.. keep on calling 'neh neh, neh neh, neh~!' hahaz.. make her till she so du lan sialx.. hahaz.. really admire her endurance man.. if it's me i'll straight shout "shut up lahz!" hahaz.. hmm.. ka jiao until i so happy.. but then reached inside ler, then was like.. oh shit.. die liaoz.. confirm die ler.. coach reached liaoz.. ask us chiong up the hill then walk down twice.. i was like sehx~ walk at the steep slope there.. so tired sialx.. panda power~ run all the way.. *peifu,peifu* hmm.. then yishun town some of them also went ler, run quite fast also.. then after whole training, went beauty world eat dinner.. nie ate PAPAYA again.. ahahz.. nie so disguting sialx.. piangx.. nie: "say two?" keke.. but nt in front of me.. =p liewx.. hand so itchy sialz.. think sensitive to dust bahx.. so itchy!then went toilet change to jersey.. haahz.. nice! love the jersey.. wanna make some more! mauhahaha.. tmr no trainnig.. hahaz.. another day for me to rest.. =p yeah! *love lao gong*.. =p!

breaking down..

2004-07-29T13:11:00.000+08:00

today didn't went to school again.. hahz.. think i can break the record liaoz.. pon tan queen..=x but yesterday's training was really tired worx.. but all basketballers also the same lahz.. maybe i'm just lazy lorz.. keke.. =p ar.. just now heard about sharon's story lorz.. then was like so sad.. haiz.. affected my mood.. feel bad for her too.. why must this kinda thing happnened all around us? when parents chose this path, the one suffering are the children.. but parents didn't know cuz they are busy settling their own problems.. and we the children doesn't wanna let our parents know because we think that they had enough of their own and don't want them to undergo so many stress when they already had many.. it's really hard for us childrens but it's even more harder for out parents.. today going to my grandma house again liaoz.. mama and 'bastard' gonna quarrell again liaoz.. haiz.. hate this kinda days, really doesn't wanna go with my mama, but have to.. i really dont' wanna hear them quarrel anymore liaoz.. i can't take it.. when they quarrel, i feel so afraid.. very very afraid of it, but there's nothing i can do.. that's the worst thing.. haiz.. i wanna help em.. but i don't wanna talk to bastard! i hate him.. talked to my brother.. he said it takes two hands to clap.. so both of them is at fault.. argh.. mama wasn't like that before he known bastard.. haiz.. it's no one's fault for choosing this path, everything is fated to be like this.. no one can change the fact, all we can do is face the reality.. yesterday's training was kinda tough.. me dong leen was the one 'suffering'.. we are the first group to go and we done everything repeatedly.. cuz of some of our blurness.. we couldnt drop the ball.. we didn't it lotsa time.. then next group they dropped the ball here and there but they didn't have to repeat again.. at that moment, we were thinking, coach is so bias.. but i guess he just have his own reason of doing this.. think my speed slack liaoz ler.. haiz.. stamina also slack ler.. played 5-on-5 afterwards, piang.. all the guys doing the work, me standing there dunnoe wad to do.. then got one they throw to me, no one's there worx.. but i still can't shoot it in.. lousy ar!! the rest of the 'c' girls at there have t do 30 push ups, sit-ups, crunches.. piang.. haiz.. saturday's training gonna die laioz.. gonna be even worst.. we gotta train in the morning at 8 then in the afternoon go eat 'lunch' then after that think we gonna go chiong hill again liaoz.. haiz.. so tough!! cannot take it ar!!! tired!! wanna sleep forever sial.. better.. keke.. =p eh? that's wad 'papa mao²' always said.. hope they'll end the quarrel soon.. need dear by my side.. i need to cry.. haiz..

trying to be happy..

2004-07-27T17:44:00.000+08:00

hehez.. yoz.. er.. so sianz sial.. just came back from plaza.. just now went plaza with zul, ammar, dominic, imran, alane, wee ting, sor hoon.. hehez.. was really fun.. went there actually wanna go sakura eat de, but then saw so many assumptionitez inside.. so instead, we went to eat at the kopithiam.. hahaz.. the food there also nice lahz.. hehez.. no difference.. then ate finish liaoz, we sat there talking, talk about lotsa thing.. created a aq* hahaz.. *censored*..talking bout that 'bitch'.. haiz.. but i also feel kinda guilty to do that to her lahz.. haiz.. but what's done is done.. guess we just have t do this.. hmm.. then chat very happily, talked bout joanne and ammar..! hahaz.. jkjk.. oops.. =x then after that talked about our memories during sec 1.. we all talking and laughing so loud sial! really had a great time.. hehez.. talked about when we first came into school see which guy or girl handsome or pretty.. and lotsa lotsa crap lahz, chat about how many ex all fo us have.. fun!=p then saw ber and leen there.. then after that chatted about an hour and a half.. then imran need to go home ler, so all of us left together lorz.. keke.. =) *heartbreaker2* is really a great guy sial.. hope he could find a girl whom he will love very dearly de.. haiz.. loving someone is really hard, really hurts.. rather have someone loving me than i loving someone.. loving someone who don't really love you as much as you do, really really hurts.. guess 'q' was wanting it this way bahx.. so open-minded.. so fast can forget alvin liaoz.. *admire* seh.. i can't do that.. can't forget him.. i'm damn soft-hearted.. really can't control my heart.. it's like my heart controlling me.. hurts ah!! and hor.. my papa..became so dao liaoz.. very very dao.. dunnoe him also.. haiz.. suan ler bahx.. thought we could be very close like how a daughter and father would be.. didnt know he will change till like that.. really hate the way of him being that way.. but haiz.. it' s okie bahz.. if he really want it this way then okie lorz.. today didn't talk or sms him or see him worx.. kinda miss him so much.. but trying not to sms him.. trying very hard to control myself.. miss him so much ar! wonder whose the unknown person who doesn't wanna disclose his name in my chatterbox.. *i wonder*.. just changed my blog's lay out.. was really nice. the words below there damn touching.. really wan a have a hug from him.. wanna see him.. got so many guys out there so much better than *heartbreaker 1* why should i choose someone that doesn't love me? argh.. why am i repeating..? stupid me.. tmr got training.. so long never train liaoz.. bout 1 week ler.. patched with him on the 25th of july.. don't break my heart pls.. it's a PLS! i can't only take one last blow.. and definitely gonna finish me off.. gonna be damn heartbroken is he really does that.. feel like being in his arms and cry..

hacked`

2004-07-26T19:52:00.000+08:00

booyah ! ii sorta " hacked " into miemie`s a/c . teeheex.. nah ! ime juhs editinq her layowt for her . how do yoo quys find iht ? post in yor comments at tha chatterbox !

in tha meantyme, imma mayke maself scarce ehn edit some parts in dhis template . seee yaaa !!

layowt courtesy of : aaron
http://blogskins.com

muahahahaha..

2004-07-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

hmm.. today is my school's boys' town carnival.. keke.. =p yesterday yew yew called in the night asking us remember to go cuz thinks that still got lotsa thing still haven't do yet.. pls lorz..~! but then reach there liaoz, nothing to do at all sial.. go there walk here and there.. haiyo.. go so early for wad sial.. make me so tired nia.. =p just came back from outside.. just now went to play poker card with eddie they all.. keke..=x just reached home, eat finish.. haven't go play water yets.. hmm.. damn tired! my eyes gonna close liaoz ler.. hmm.. today at carnival, so fun sial.. carnival started at 8.. our game was like a few ppl came liaoz.. hahaz.. 3/5's game very fun, exciting.. keke.. their's was like other people throwing bombs at them, the more wet they are, the more points they've got.. =p!that's wad their banner says.. keke.. some of those 3/5 people was busy tying those water 'bombs' .. then *heartbreaker2* also kena sial.. by those peeps from soccer, badminton.. hahaz.. ivinn got more people wanna throw at him sial.. can vent anger.. keke.. =p then after that walk walk with annie, then go to the 'dunk???' thingy.. then saw few of peeps from bt playing.. keke.. so fun sial.. such a hot weather drop inside the water.. shiok!! muahahahaha.. then i wear the jersey, alter liaoz.. but then still so big sial.. so baggy.. wear le like wad sialz.. funny funny de.. today nie and dong had some conflicts. hope evrything is fine now liaoz.. dong! remember to change ar.. don't be so blur anymore liaoz ler..myran.. remember to remind you darling worx.. then after that me, alane, wee ting and eunice.. at there so boring mahz.. so we go kap eat.. keke.. eat finish liaoz then went back to school again.. met sor hoon they all.. then walked in together lorz.. hehez.. go back help out again.. before that still went out to buy those mothballs.. then still go take some more bears for the prizes.. took taxi from school to my house.. just ate finish can't go bath.. if not tummy will fat fat.. keke.. tmr had a day off from school!! hahaz.. cuz we helped out today mahx.. keke.. then before leave school, played bball in upper court.. hahaz.. so fun sial.. really had a nice day today.. carnival rawks! muackz..!

my promise..

2004-07-23T10:57:00.000+08:00

hmm.. today never go school again.. omg.. wanna pull myself to wake up but then keep n delayign the time.. wad sial.. really hate myself so much sial.. everytime also pon school one.. argh..! cuz i really lazy sial.. everytime don't wanna wake up.. jamie sucks! hahaz.. *siao* hmm.. but anyway, going back to school later to help out in the decorations.. hehez.. =p don't care ar.. cuz i one week two days never go school liaoz ler.. if still don't help out ar, i no cip points then have to go pluck weed liaoz.. i then don't want ar.. =) hmm.. my friends now all having recess sial.. hahaz.. hmm.. yesterday try out the jersey very big, so asked my mama go make liaoz.. hope it would be nice bahx! then maybe can help some of my friends make liaoz..gonna wear the jersey for carnival liaoz ler.. muahahahaha.. shiok nehx.. =p later maybe buy things go school for my friends to eat.. =p so boring at home sial.. oh ya.. talk till my promise.. hmm.. i'm gonna forget ys, *heartbreaker1*.. after all that i've done for him, hurt myself, helped him with many things, grant his wish of doing things he wanted, accompany him when he needs someone to.. chat with him, play with him.. after all that i've done.. i have to give up.. darryl, vien, alaneyz, ting, eunice, nie, gonna promise all of you i'm gonna forget him now mattter how hurt it is, how i have to suffer.. like wad dear says.. can only keep him in my memories.. he could only live inside my imaginations.. i'm gonna try my very best to forget him.. i'm gonna have the determination of forgeting him.. i'm gonna do it! with all my friends by my side, i'm sure they'll help me go through this.. i'm gonna be brave.. i'm gonna be strong.. i don't wanna be the weak girl i am anymore last time.. i'll try not to cry when i feel like.. i'll TRY! i still remember got once i had a dream.. i dreamt that my mother *touch wood..!* had an accident.. and he was the one who know it first before me.. and i think i was studying.. and he came to my school, told me bout the incident.. and i was hugging him, crying.. next morning woked up.. think that no matter wad, he'lll always be by my side.. but i guess that's impossible.. cuz he's not so good de.. he've got his life, i've got mine.. so i'm not gonna care about him anymore.. i'm gonna carry on with what i have to do.. i'll be happy.. =) i will try to.. i should forget him, not gonna cry.. know him at cc, went to my house downstairs the park to walk with him before, went plaza with him to play arcade, he came my house played gunbound with his friends, i went his house played com, went 213 played bball, my house downstairs to chat, went orchard with him.. everytime i will passed by all this places, how can i forget? but i will still try.. he'll not be there for me anymore.. i'm not gonna think of him anymore.. NO MORE TEARS! =(

die liaoz!

2004-07-22T20:06:00.000+08:00

hmm.. die liaoz lahz.. this saturday gonna die.. ahahz.. coach ask us to go chiong bukit timah hill.. haiz.. nightmare!! gonna run the steepest slope again and again.. gonna run up the hill, down the hill.. omg..! haiz.. *relax relax*hmm.. scared i will cry and give up halfway.. hope that will not happened bahx.. that really makes me feel terrible.. better not think about it first.. oh ya! tmr got pe.. haven't run my 2.4km yet.. die liaoz lahz..! haiz.. today went to queensway collect jersey.. then collect saw the jersey.. XL! i then don't want.. i want change! but don't have L liaoz ler.. stupid.. wear liaoz look so fat sial.. stupid imran they all keep calling me fatty.. humph..! idiot ar.. i not fat k? tehn the jersey behind the words also not nice de.. sue them! sue them! sue them! muahahaha.. i wanna create international conflicts liaoz.. keke.. =x *crazy* next time don't want go there liaoz ler.. haiz.. then after that went to eat my favourite........ macdonalds'!! hahaz.. then my hand taking a winnie the pooh dunnoe for wad.. keke.. then eat finish liaoz go find those guys, then go straight back to school.. help out with the banner making for the carnival on sunday.. keke.. =p

2004-07-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

[hao peng you]

love sick..

2004-07-21T11:19:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today didn't go school AGAIN?!.. yupz.. i didn't went school today.. haiz.. cuz morning about 1 something leg very itchy, scratch like siao sial..sensitive skin.. morning waked up at 9:50am.. hahaz.. hmm.. then go brush teeth, wash face, apply whitening toner! muahahaha.. today wednesday got training again, but didn't went cuz didn't go school.. haiz.. promised myself i will go for every training de.. tried my best to climb up from bed go school.. but sometimes really feel tired.. listening to 'fen shou kuai le' by liang jing ru.. haiz.. thinking of *heartbreaker1* he really broked my heart sial.. really hurts a lotsa.. haiz.. at home nothing to do thinking of him again liaoz.. haiz.. why go take other girl's number when he was with me.. that moment being with him was the best days i ever had, but didn't know.. when i was about to reach heaven, he threw me back to hell again.. letting go was never easy, but no one said it would be this hard.. yesterday's 'talk' with isabel, she said something to me:" if guys don't hurt us, what's there for us to cry about?" kinda think that this sentence really makes sense.. bu think again, if guys hurt us, after we cry, the scar will still be left there.. wanna forget him but i really can't.. i really want to.. but no matter how hard i try, try not to tink about him, try concentrate on eveything i gotta do, but in the end.. i still miss him lotsa, he's such a guy who doesn't know how to care and concern for any girl, break girl's heart, dirty-minded.. but i just don't know why i will love him so much, how come i just couldn't forget him? why my heart's still missing him? longing for him.. i don't want it this way, the way i want it it's so simple, just forget him, let him go.. it's so simple but yet it's s hard.. i don't wanna think about him.. how i wish i can undergo brainwash, let me forget this guy for eternity.. but everytime when i misses him so much, i just feel like crying? how come he just can't be like other guys? treat a girl seriously.. unless he tells me he dont love me, and i will give up even if i can't.. i dunch know why i'm typing this but i just couldn't control not to think about him, not to love him, i can't do it.. all i need is just care, concern and love from him.. is it really that hard? just a bit can liaoz.. have to treat him as my god brother when i don't even want him to be my brother, but if that's e way he want it, i'm fine with it.. no matter how hurt it is, i will just say that it's alrite.. love him!!

so boring!

2004-07-20T15:30:00.000+08:00

haiz.. so boring.. hmm.. today wenta school, morning assembly wanna sit down also hard.. cuz leg really pain sial.. very hard to sit and stand sial.. then everytime wanna greet teacher then have to sit and stand and sit and stand.. don't wanna stand then kena scolded by teacher.. stupid teacher..=x stupid ivinn watch out! argh.. want nail cutter help you get liaoz i kena scolded by teacher.. smack you ar! make me kena bawu.. hahz.. then *heartbreaker2* so cute.. mdm liew say :" whose the one? huh?" then *heartbreaker2* raised up his hand then mrs lim saw ler beat his head.. hahaz.. naughty boy sial.. then went back to class, have the first two periods.. then after got one guy come to call me and alaneyz go for counselling.. i think that's not called counselling actually.. it's just a talk for someone who really needs someone to talk to.. actually chose isabel for the talk, cuz think that girls will be better bahx.. but after that they said the thing changed liaoz, so me and alaneyz have to meet joshua.. then joshua was like asking whether it's okie for him to take over.. both of us said okie lorz.. ahahks.. hmm.. then alaneyz started talking to him.. joshua was like keep on saying:"actually this sounds kinda bullshit.. .. .." hahaz.. he talk almost a lot of sentence got bullshit de.. he damn funny damn cute.. ahahks.. then my turn ler, told him my probs, then he said think my prob should hand to isabel better bahx.. but isabel still talking to meenatchi they all.. so meanwhile talk to joshua first lorx.. then people in charge of d'lighthouse came in.. they started to like pack all the things properly cuz director will be coming.. then joshua was like saying wanting to kick the cushion.. hahaz..! then anna chan came in wanted to lend somethings, we were like joking around sial.. then meenatchi they all finished talking ler.. so it's my turn, told isabel my probs, as my prob is almost the same as hers.. think she will understand de.. told her my family problems.. then i cried out.. then she told me to cry everything out, couldn't take this pressure family's putting me through, but i guess there are many other more people out there, their problems are worst than us.. isabel just told me:" how violent can he get? even if he does, there's nothing you can do.." and she gave me a hug.. omg.. at that moment i really cried everything out, it was terrible.. made her shirt wet wet.. she said a prayer with me, she cried too.. haiz.. guess she just wanna help me but there's nothing she can do for me, or i can do.. haiz.. having family problems really stress! but after that really felt great! everything was like dissapeared.. but i'm afraid the problems will come..

pain ar..!

2004-07-18T17:15:00.000+08:00

haiz.. leg very pain ar.. yesterday's training was really hell.. this is how it goes.. yesterday was raining.. then me,qiu ping,eileen,amanda,youse.. then we thought of not running the 4.8km cuz floor wet mahz.. so we went later lorz.. then by the time we reached there was about 8 or 8 something lorz.. then there only got three cloth mahz, so we just take lorz.. but we clean the floor a while then don't wanna clean liaoz ler.. then started taking bball from the bball room.. then started shooting ball.. left some of them dry the floor.. then after that we played bball until tired ler, went in rest lorz.. then after a while, 'c' girls come liaoz, with the cake.. then all settle down inside, left shin pei and shi hui outside cleaning the floor.. then wad a nice timing, coach came.. then saw us all sitting inside left the two of them.. then all of us stunned tio, all faster put down everything go help out outside, then mr ong o take cloth for us.. then heng stand there for so long waiting for us to clear up.. then we tried doing fast.. woah, not long after that.. the whole thing clean liaoz ler.. then some of the 'c' girls still wasting time there talking.. then told them if we don't hurry, heng will give us hell.. all still taking own sweet time.. then bo bian.. faster ask them gather liaoz.. then go there.. piang.. heng's face damn black lorz.. then he asked us whether got run 4.8km nots.. then all act stupid.. actually all never run.. then he said:" 6 groups one group 3 person.." woah.. at that time, we know what will happened next liaoz..! physical!! haiz.. then heng ask us do those warm up first.. then started to ask us run 4-ze,3 times.. 12-ze,2 times.. 16-ze, 1 time.. then start to do scissors thingy to and fro,ducky walk, to and fro.. then the rest is push up, sit ups, crunches, scissors thingy again.. really hell ar..! after that xiwen they all reached ler, then we started playing 5-on-5.. first match lose second match also lose.. haiz.. then really very buay song him lorz.. first match we played score is 19:22.. tried our best liaoz, then second match they can rest, we can't, then continue again.. lose again.. haiz.. really damn tired lorz.. leg already very pain liaoz.. haiz.. wadeva lahz! argh.. then after training, still went to 213 played bball.. from2 something played until 7 something, went home bathe then go down 213 again.. ahahz.. hmm.. then played till 10 something then went to coffee shop till 11 something then go home.. piang.. then slept at 12 something with my hair still so wet. this morning waked up at 10 somthing.. came up from bed, leg really pain.. tried walking but walk until so ugly sial.. like how manda said de:" penguin walk!" hahaz.. really looks like.. no matter sit, stand or walk also pain.. damn damn pain.. tmr still have training, haiz.. but luckily only shooting nia.. hope tmr can survive with leg pain! jia you..! muahahahaha..

argh..!

2004-07-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

hahaz.. used this colour to write.. alane love this colour.. hahaz.. hmm.. today went to school for mission week.. was really nice.. damn damn nice wor.. hahaz.. the joshua was really a great great joker.. the way he talked, laugh.. very cute.. hahaz.. can't stop laughing.. but then dunnoe why halfway during the session cry.. *crazy*.. cuz have the same session as the *heartbreaker2* so i was like cry lorz.. then skully the brother neville ask wee ting whether i crying nots..? hahaz, wee ting scareded sial.. she shake her head.. haiz.. maybe part of it is because they were talking bout family affair de, then some more i keep on looking at him.. then still remmebered he didn't reply my msg.. so i was like.. haiz.. dunnoe larhs.. then after that went for recess.. 50 mins sial.. dunnoe wad to do.. too bad i missed the first session sial.. the misson week was really meaningful, let us learned a lot of things in life.. still remembered isabel said this:" in life, god made us go through so many obstacles is because he want us to be stronger.." wow..! then saw the clip.. it says this:" letting go was never easy.. no one said it's would be so hard.." then after that saw many pictures that was taken yesterday and today de.. hahaz.. and ammar..! hahaz.. sang by The Hoobastank.. hahaz.. solo seh..~! but was really nice.. just kinda pull his voice too high ler.. then some more alane, zul and prem act out a show.. hahaz.. was short but was really nice too.. at 12, the session end ler, haiz.. kinda 'bu she de'.. muahahaha.. then after that they gave us a form for counselling de.. hahaz.. me and alane wrote down sial.. hmm.. the isabel tell about her story.. was really hurting sial.. damn sad.. haiz.. then after that go home take the list for class jersey.. then went to meet meenatchi they all at bus stop there.. then saw *heartbreaker2* walk pass like this.. woah.. seh~ then after that took 961 go queensway to make jersey lorz.. at last it was decided that orange and white..!! hahaz.. nice.. but then same pattern as 3/3 just different colour nia.. hahaz.. i put my name as 'mie²' number is 99.. muahahaha.. said the seond time liaoz.. keke.. =p i happy wad.. then went there eat my favourite mac!! so long never eat liaoz since my stomach cramp sial.. then after that went back with izwan, dominic, alane, ammar, zul, qiu ping, marcus, yu fong,ignatius.. hahaz.. then izwan and zul went bacck home first.. so me and qiu ping went 213.. saw zong ping and ys they all.. they going back to school for dunnoe wad dance thingy?? hahaz.. then after that *heartbreaker2* got go 226.. then so went there see him lorz.. then was kicking soccer that time.. went to pick up the ball.. saw smething which i shouldn't see.. haiz.. really damn dissapointed of what he done.. then after that fed up went 213 play bball.. played until so tired sial.. tmr still got taining.. must run 4.8km! feel like fainting again de.. but nvm! i want to minus fats!! muahahaha..

boring sial..

2004-07-14T19:13:00.000+08:00

hmm..liew..so sianz sial..just reach home..today in school cried sial..all because of those sickening guys..bastard sial..really f***ing childish retarded!!all wanna take same number..already said liaoz we want to go according to index number de..then now all now happy..say wanna take their own number..then when we just finish designing which is orange and white then alot not happy with it..like this not happy like that also not happy..what you all want man..?in the end, everyone chose black and white..then decide liaoz,when leaving class the rest say orange better..wtf sial?nabei..hate you all!!later black and white come out not nice that's your problem liaoz k?not mine..is you all wanna choose the colour de hor..then the number in the end,ignatius have to go in front of the class and ask one by one..i want number nine,dom also want..then fine lorz..both not happy..i take 99 lorz..hate my class!made me cry for nothing again..argh!!then today went training..so damn tired sial..but then very shiok..keke..=P..from 3 o'clock start to play 5-on-5 till 4:30 sial..so damn tired..after that still went to 213 to play bball..hahaz..wanna cut fat..i find myself too fat liaoz..then inside the bus keep on joking with qiu ping sial..retarded one..then keep on smiling till the on who give up is the loser..*lame*..hahaz..sianz..went there played a match,rest a while then go home liaoz..kinda miss my mama..every night also go out de..haiz..then like woah..i all alone at home..sianz 1/2..but when together with my mama,then doesnt miss her at all..kinda guilty sial..she come home so tiring liaoz still have to wash plate,hang clothes,etc de..i also never help out..haiz..but i tired mahz..haiz..stupid me..

damn tiring day..

2004-07-13T16:13:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday night slept at 11:45pm sial.. then today didn't go to school.. cuz very tired.. then woked up at 12:02pm this afternoon sial.. piang.. but then till now still very tired.. haiz.. today beri sad sialz.. cuz this morning the 'someone' message me.. then he asked me why i never go school? then i said i beri tired lorz.. then he say he also tired since the first period slept till now.. haiz.. i weak mahz.. then after that i dont know why told him i jealous.. then he said no lahz, never stead with her.. then i say okie okie.. wad sial.. then i ask him he got feelings for which girl.. then he named three, then i seh~ lorz.. but still told him that give him my support for wadeva decision he made.. then he say thanks.. =p hahaz..! i dunnoe wad i thinking also lahz.. a while say dont want any relationship, then a while still mind wad he say.. wad sialz.. hmm.. haiz.. wadeva lahz! tmr got accounts test.. from last friday postpone till wednesday.. boring ar..!

wad seh..

2004-07-11T20:51:00.000+08:00

hmm.. today so sianz sial.. whole day at home.. only went out a while to eat nia.. so boring seh.. whole day at home.. like going crazy liaoz ler.. hmm.. but at least got wee2 and wee ting come my house play poker..=x keke.. hmm.. my stomach cramp at last okie liaoz.. piang.. three days eat porridge and bread+plain hot water nia.. nothing else.. sick of them liaoz sial.. but i still don't dare drink cold water seh.. if not sure kena again de.. *touch wood!!* tmr still got accounts test.. i haben't study yet sial.. die liaoz larhs.. haiz.. forget to bring the book back.. and my history.. still haven't do yet sialz.. wad e hell.. then tmr still got training..! argh..! going crazy liaoz.. haiz..! maybe cry liaoz will feel better bahz.. keke.. =p haven't bath haven't iron clothes yet.. wad sial.. so many things haven't do.. seh~! gtg do now liaoz.. buaiz..! muackz..

liew..

2004-07-10T14:56:00.000+08:00

haiz.. wtf seh.. stomach till now still cramp sial.. haiz.. hmm.. neber go training today cuz have to send my papa to airport.. today go back liaoz.. haiz.. feel like crying again ler.. stupid me.. shit me..! everytime also cry de.. don't have one time my father go back i never cry de.. wth.. haiz.. my stomach like will cramp anytime de.. at home so lonely so sianz.. dunnoe why got a feeling like very unstable.. like my world gonna collapse anytime.. i wanna love him but i can't.. definitely can't love him.. cuz he doesn't have me in his heart, i can't afford to get hurt anymore.. but i can't control myself.. it's like to me, his my everytihing.. i already gave him 100% of my heart ler.. but then he broke everything.. very very weak indeed.. he's like my hill.. i wish i could lean on him forever.. i'm trying to deny everything that has gotta do with him.. i keep on saying that i don't love him he's just my godbrother only.. no more.. but in my heart i know i still loves him.. i know worx.. i can confirm my feelings for him but i can't let i out.. i'm feeling so hard.. dunnoe what i should do.. don't wanna do anything also.. i'm giving up in love liaoz..

ouch!

2004-07-08T14:36:00.000+08:00

hmm.. wad sial.. today actually wanna go school study de.. on my way to school, stomach pain.. but then only a bit nia lorz.. i thought nothing de.. so bo chap continue going to school.. thought nothing will happened.. assembly that time still can laugh and joke with my friends.. but then when seated down to read storybook that time.. stomach started to pain liaoz ler.. then mdm liew saw me pressing my stomach ask me i stomach ache ar..? then i say:" yupz.." then she ask me wanna go sick bay nots.. i say don't want.. cuz i thought a while then okie liaoz.. but didnt know when reach class liaoz.. my stomach started to pain again liaoz ler.. then my class all siao siao de.. told them i stomachache then all say:" you come that one ar..?" haiyo.. stomach pain means come that one mehz..? think i yesterday night drink cold water before i sleep mahz.. so will like that de lorz.. then in class really cannot tahan sial.. then first period is ah tan's lesson.. he talk and talk woah piang.. i at there really buay tahan but then don't dare go out tell him cuz i no name tag.. =x still making mahz.. hmm.. then after ah tan's period is mr.chew.. so wee ting accompany me go tell mr.chew to go to the canteen to get some hot drinks..reach canteen ler.. stall auntie saw me then say:" you come that one ar..?" then she so far talking to me, i didn't really heard properly so i just say :" ya, ya.." drink finish ler.. thought much better ler, didn't know that when go to the 'cluster west' room.. then inside so cold.. i really canot tahan.. but still tried my best to endure lorz.. hmm.. then watch finish the show ler, walk out not pain at all sial.. then reach class liaoz, then stomach suddenly damn pain again..wad sial.. then ji tao cannot take it liaoz.. took out my hp,=x.. call my father tell him.. then he say come fetch me.. so touching hor..? keke.. =p then went to general office.. my farking stomach pain again.. sit down still like that, stand up still like that.. then face so white.. then the clerk keep on asking me so many things, feel like slapping her.. =x.. people there stomach so pain, so tired.. she just ask and ask so many question.. chee bong one lorz.. then i waiting there for her to hang up the phone.. wait until i ji tao squat on the floor..totally no strength..then she ask wee ting go to conference room take one chair out.. piangz, i sit down liaoz then she tell me go rest inside sick bay.. *fark* then saw dunnoe who on the first bed, second bed is jean.. so i just sit at the corner there where jean is slping lorz.. then woah. stomach pain until i feel like crying.. but then i can't cry cuz it doesnt helps.. so just diam diam there let it pain lorz.. then i seated down there, the clerk ask me move aside.. liew.. i so pain she ask me move aside.. wad sial.. then waited for half an hour then my mama and papa comes.. they ask me whether want go see doctor i said:"don't want, go home rest can liaoz.." but in the end, i stil went to see doctor.. my stomach a while not pain a while very pain.. sial lahz.. then doctor check he say is i eat something wrong yesterday.. then i told him i drank cold water.. then he ask if i want injection or eat tablets.. i straight away answer him:" eat tablets.." then reach home have to eat something before eating my medicine.. idon't feel like eating anything.. i feel like vomitting.. but bo bian, really very pain.. so i eat a bit lorz.. then faster take medicine lorz.. take liaoz sleep for a while, but really can't.. so pain.. i anyhow turn also pain.. then after tha tpain gone liaoz, can sleep ler.. but after a while the pain come again liaoz.. wtf sial.. now just took the second time.. i think much better ler.. i don't dare to move.. scared later pain come again..

aiyo..!

2004-07-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

hmm.. today lehz.? quite tiring.. haiz.. yesterday slept at 11 something but then go to school still feel like slping.. haiz.. so naughty sial me.. what the shit man.. keke.. =p haiz.. finally.. can get over with those crazy love, missing him, heartbroken.. hahaz.. those are just physical pain nia lahz.. hmm.. but right now still physically hurt lorz.. a bit nia lahz.. think soon can get over with them liaoz ler.. keke. =) hmm.. no love, no pain.. got my mistress, vien mahz.. got my buddy, uhlainey mahz.. hahaz.. thanks for supporting me always mans..! hahaz.. hmm.. now really can't believe in love anymore.. to me, there's no real love..? hahaz.. maybe i still small lahz.. i shouldn't have think too much de bahz.. hahaz.. haiz.. but still got the xi guan of crying for nothing.. hahaz.. today hor, cried for nothing seh.. crazy de.. ahahks.. hmm.. today went plaza with papa, mama, brother.. keke.. so shiok man..! my papa bought contact lens de solution for moi.. hehz.. then got one cute cute doggy de eye pillow..! so cute..! muahahahaha.. then still buy wad ar..? hmm.. forget liaoz..unlainey:my papa bought me the whitening thingy liaoz..=p =) ahahz..today 'c' girl's match.. hahaz.. we won man..! wow.. now then i know out aes 'c' girls defence so power de.. very good lehz..! hahaz.. think sometimes i can't even do that lorz.. keke.. woah.. got one junior crazy de sial.. hmm.. then when going home.. the cb taxi driver talk so much cock sial.. ask him bring us to a place then he kpkb so much.. feel like giving him one tight slap let him forget his mama..! hahaz.. no lahz.. cannot so violent de..=x but then see him so old ler, let him go ar.. keke.. =p hahaz.. like how nie said.. that cb taxi driver so yaya one.. talk so much.. kp so much.. argh..! after their match we went to kfc eat lors.. hahaz.. stayed there for dunnoe 2 hours i think. hahaz.. talk and laugh so loud sial.. hahaz.. *throw face* keke.. someone said this :"oh..sorry sorry..sorry dear" wor.. keke.. dunnoe who.. hehez.. =p that's all folks!

omg..

2004-07-06T15:27:00.000+08:00

haiz.. can't believe it man..! now came out a *heartbreaker 2* liaoz.. haiz.. wth!! *heartbreaker 2* ish from my school de.. actually thought that think of him maybe can help me forgetting *heartbreaker* but then in the end, he hurt me the second time.. now the wound is even deeper than ever.. it's just like a wound shattered with some salt.. omg..! that hurts.. he even went out to watch movie with another girl sial.. thought he's those kinda very good guy, very loyal, very cool guy.. didn't know he could actually do this.. does he treat every girl like this..? the same as how he treat me last time..? he say he want me de.. but then he went to watch movie with another and that girl say she feel that *heartbreaker 2* likes her..? wow.. wad a nice one eh..? everything became so confused, so bad, so sudden to me.. thought i could put 100% of my trust on him.. thought he'll be damn good to me.. didn't know things will turn out this way de.. ouch..! my heart hurts a lotsa.. guess i can't believe in love anymore.. today at opposite of the road, shouted "j*** **** sucks!" but then don't mean it de.. keep on looking at him.. but wad for..? people already like other girls liaoz.. give up bahz.. i'm just an ass.. shit me..! my heart is physically hurt! my heart's like a glass, it's very fragile de.. it'll break anytime, and when it breaks, i will just collapse, my world will just turn upside down.. i can't take all this pressure liaoz.. i've almost heal my wound and now it went back to the same again liaoz.. he told me last time:" when you told me this, my heart drops.." now is my turn to tell *heartbreaker 2*:" when i know you did that,my heart breaks.." *heartbreaker 2* seems to be dating lotsa girl now..wish him all e best.. no wonder he so dao to me.. now i understand ler.. sorry for disturbing you.. shouldn't have step into your life anyway.. it's my fault.. i'm just a toy.. a toy for guys to play.. bored liaoz just throw me aside lorz.. =) never mind.. i guess i still can take it bahz.. i'm already hurt so get hurt again also never mind.. xi guan ler..=)

youth day!

2004-07-05T10:55:00.000+08:00

youth day so wad..? liew.. so sianz.. raining seh.. how to go out..? haiz.. this month got a lot of things happened.. friends of mine have lots of prob.. i tried helping but i can't.. in the end, me mysef end up crying.. haiz.. wtf.. can't even handle my own prob o k.p.o other ppl's probs.. stupid me.. yesterday my daddy come back from shanghai ler.. will be staying in singapore for one week bahz.. scared later he go back i'm gonna cry again cuz will miss him so much.. yesterday went my grandma house.. then go cut hair.. hahaz.. *makes no difference*.. later going orchard with berline, eileen, qiu ping, darryl, kelvin, alan.. think will be quite fun de bahz.. hehez.. =p it's so boring..! haiz.. this morning's match for portugal and greece seh.. didn't stay up to watch but then know the score.. greece->1:0<-portugal.. wasted seh.. everyone talking about portugal in the end greece won.. wtf.. my dear brother still have to go to school.. hehez.. so poor thing hor..? yesh.. stop raining liaoz!

wth..

2004-07-03T19:16:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today went back training.. so damn tired.. training at upper court.. so hot! i already so black liaoz seh.. still under the sun.. piangz.. gonna be a black charcoal soon liaoz le.. haiz.. i don't want black black i want white white.. =x hehez.. then morning till now 7:15pm then come home.. very tired sial.. haiz.. training as normal tough liaoz.. before training start go run 4.8km.. then start training.. piangz! wth seh! training do this and that.. now damn tired.. legs like jelly liaoz.. falling anytime.. feel like sleeping seh.. haiz.. just now acc annie go plaza walk walk.. then went to two one three.. joke like siao..! hahaz..like crazy women.. so many probs..!! going crazy soon liaoz ler.. really lack of care and concern ler.. haiz.. i dunnoe what i am thinking also.. haiz.. f off! argh..

i've made my decision..

2004-07-02T12:43:00.000+08:00

i guess i'll just treat you as my brother bahz.. after all our love.. your love for me has already fade away liaoz.. no point getting on with anything ler.. we are just good friends.. =) i'll try my best to think that way.. i don't wanna get into any love anymore.. i don't wanna get hurt anymore.. so i'd rather i choose loneliness.. i'd rather be alone.. no worries.. =) maybe that's not the right thinking but i'll tried my best to think that way.. cuz that's e only thing i can do now.. you told me you're serious but you played me.. i hate you.. but i like you.. wish it'll be better this way bahz.. i hope so..

haiz..

2004-07-02T11:48:00.000+08:00

i dunnoe i like that i correct or wrong le bahz.. i'm really confused ler.. heart sometimes thinking of him sometimes thinking of the *heartbreaker*.. i also don't know wad i really want.. me and *heartbreaker* now is friends but in my heart still loves him lots? but i know we can only be friends.. that's all.. but the way *heartbreaker* talked to me, concern about me, was like last time when me and him together.. but i dont dare go think that me and him will be together again.. cuz i know that will never never happen.. haiz.. i'm afraid. i'm really afraid.. i dunnoe what i'm afraid of.. but just very worried.. i like that 'him' but then i don't wanna hurt him in the end when i still can't forget *heartbreaker*.. then the 'him' was like so dao to me.. should i give 'him' up and continue waiting for this farking impossible love with *heartbreaker*? yesterday went rollerblade with *heartbreaker* and friends at my house downstairs.. i fell down ler, and *heartbreaker* said:" ni hai hao ma..?" maybe he guilty..? then trying to treat me a bit more better..?wth.. like this i get even more heart pain.. then halfway through.. that *d-girl* messaged *heartbreaker*.. omg.. his handphone recieved message i was like oh.. definitely is *d-girl* liaoz..guess *heartbreaker* treat me like his mei mei like that nia.. is he having pressure..? if we don't talk or don't see each other, is it even better? i don't wanna hurt anyone.. cuz im already feeling very hurt ler.. i miss him i really miss him.. just can't stop thinking ler.. after all those that people have told me.. say i should give him up, say a lot a lot of things.. afterall, i'm still thinking of him.. wtf am i doing..?i know.. i know he's kinda bad, he doesn't treat me very good.. i know! but i love him i even love his bad points.. but i really wanna forget him! everyday they ask me go down.. i don't wanna go down. i wanna forget him de.. but my leg just bring me to it.. i need 'him'.. i want *heartbreaker*.. but 'him' doesn't care also de..

=)

2004-06-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

haiz.. hmm.. now me and *heartbreaker* friends ler.. guess like this better bahz.. me and him suitable to be friends than couples bahz.. it's like be friends got more things to chat lorz.. some more now he's like got another girl liaoz mahz.. feel like waiting but i guess also no point bahz.. so think i should try my best to forget and let him go ler.. made my decision ler.. cannot go back liaoz.. look forward lorz.. me and him is past ler.. today 'c' girls match, at clementi sports hall.. ah dong cannot play.. haiz.. no ez=link card sial.. wallet lost.. wtf! last time don't lost now then lost.. haiz.. fated de bahz, can't blame anyone.. if i still 'c' girls i sure go play de.. 'c' girls! cheer up bahz! haiz.. i kinda she bu de to let *heartbreaker* go lehz.. haiz.. maybe it just takes time bahz.. shit lahz.. feel like crying again liaoz.. but i promise him i will not cry for him anymore ler.. i can do it de..! =p

zhen tao yan..

2004-06-27T12:26:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today sunday liaoz.. tmr will school re-open ler.. everything will go back to normal again liaoz.. this holiday really had lotsa fun.. going out with *heartbreaker* they all.. everything's like a dream.. guess this dream will be gone ler.. when school re-open, there will be even less time i can see them ler.. haiz.. how i wish this dream will always be there.. being with them was really really fun and happy.. now is like i have a feeling that evrything's gone.. haiz.. i hao bu she de wor!

sianz 1/2..

2004-06-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today went sentosa with *heartbreaker* they all.. not really enjoyed myself.. on our way there.. i was tired cuz only get to sleep 3 hours plus nia.. then in the bus, ask qiu ping lend me her shoulder.. then bu zhi bu jue cry liaoz.. haiz.. i wear cap so thought the rest of them didn't see me crying.. but then bo bian.. they all saw me crying.. haiz.. wad sial.. then keep on looking at him.. but he didn't know.. haiz.. then reach there liaoz, jump into the water.. piang! shiok man.. then sun-tanning.. hehez.. my back hurts.. so hot sial.. but i like it.. muahahahaha.. while sun tanning, *cckss* girl came,*heartbreaker* ask her come de.. i see them my heart really pain.. very very pain wor.. haiz.. then actually nothing de.. continued playing, acting happy.. then go bath.. taqke monorail that time, so sad.. mood swing.. then in e bus cried again.. but cried liaoz feel much better bahz.. lucky got eddie beside me.. keep on giving me tissues.. then went to 213.. andrew that clown.. hahaz.. made me laugh.. realy feel much better le bahz.. i hate *heartbreaker* this will be the last time i cry for him!! i hope so bahz.. haiz..

tired liaox..

2004-06-23T14:55:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i'm really tired ler.. tired of loving him ler.. gave him all my best ler, but then he lehz..? haiz.. didn't even love me bahz.. i didn't feel any love given by him.. can't believe that i'm fooled again.. haiz.. he took me for granted.. guess he just wanted a stead not for the sake or loving her.. but then just for the sake of boredness.. haiz.. hmm.. every morning wake up find that i've no more *heartbreaker* by my side ler.. have to stand up on my feet on my own then i sianz 1/2 liaoz.. haiz.. still can't adapt yet.. my mind id thinking of him.. still thinking of him.. i really don't know why i will like him so much sial.. first guy lehz! some more hurt me so deep.. it hurts! if i still continue thinking of him i will realy go insane de.. but i just can't stop thinking mahz.. wad to do? didn't see that girl before wor.. hmm.. later maybe going play bball with *heartbreaker* and his friends.. how am i gonna face him? or act like nothing happened at all? just friends? haiz.. me and him more suitable for friends bahz.. really need concern a lot. if not i will just collapse! why he wanna treat me like this? i don't understand.. i tried to keep myself laughing ler.. laugh until halfway think about him.. mood swing until very fast liaoz.. wtf! do wad also will think of him de.. yesterday from 12 watch vcd until 6 something.. cried and cried non-stop.. eyes also swollen liaoz.. watch vcd sad sad also will think of him de.. wang bu liao ta! wo de xin hao tong.. bu zhi gai zhuo she me hao.. haiz.. a lot ppl just say don't think too much.. but it's really hard not to think too much..

ending still e same..

2004-06-22T08:40:00.000+08:00

the time now is 8:35am.. yesterday chat with alvin they all till 3 something.. now waked up liaoz.. can't slp, and i'm having a great headache.. don't feel like going out.. don't feel like talking to anyone.. just feel like keeping quiet on my own.. do my own things.. really don't know how i should continue my days down without *heartbreaker*.. guess i really have to stand upon my feet again! without him by my side..i'm so down.. haiz.. me and *heartbreaker* break up liaoz.. he told his friends to tell me that he wanna go jio that girl, and i've agreed on the breakup.. i don't wanna let him go, but i can't force him to stay with me though.. so wad i've done is that i messaged that girl he wanna jio bahz, help him.. then still told that girl that *heartbreaker*'s stead sucks one.. don't care bout him de.. i still told that girl to treat him good good lorz.. and i told *heartbreaker* that i give all my blessings to both that girl and *heartbreaker*.. hope they can be very happy with each other bahz.. like wad eunice say, if i really cant forget *heartbreaker*.. then i will wait for this impossible love.. don't wanna hurt any other guys anymore.. coz i guess i only love him bahz.. i have his picture in my com.. i set it as my desktop background.. everytime look at my desktop then keep on looking at it liaoz.. can't take my eyes off it.. don't know how to face him liaoz.. should i still go to 213 there to play bball? then it'll even be much harder for me to forget him.. it hurts! my heart hurts! haiz..

trying my best..

2004-06-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

haiz.. hmm.. this few days really don't what i'm doing.. lost my way.. everything become different in my own world,without *heartbreaker*.. trying to adapt to my own world now.. i have to stand up on my feet, getting up and continue my own things.. thanks to shawn, but i need a lot of time to stand up back on my feet again.. guys rememeber,next time you hurt a girl, you might just destroy her world..to *heartbreaker*:"i don't wanna give up on loving you, but i can't take the pain you've put me through, deep down i know the feelings are alwayd there, maybe someday you'll care.. at least for now i can hide my pain.. i know if i don't, i'll go insane.. our time apart make de realize, there's no second chance when it comes to guys..you said this time you are serious.. you told me not to worry and be happy.. everytime don't caare about me, give me so many excuses.. and the many excuses you have told are getting lame and really old.. we never talked anymore.. it's like a room to your life and you've slammed the door.. it hurts to know that you've shut me out.." sometims we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fall in order to know.. sometimes our vision clear only after our eyes are washed away with tears.. true love is he doesn't hurt you even if you hurt him.. he's silent even when you're screaming. he will think clearly even if he's confused.. will not let go even if you release him.. and *heartbreaker*, if i could be an angel, i'd make your every wish come true.. but i'm only human, just a girl who's loving you..i will still think of you no matter wad, but after everything.. you and me will be my happiest memory..

funny day..

2004-06-20T11:41:00.000+08:00

hmm.. yesterday went to wee ting house thawn.. hahaz.. but then until 3 o'clock then go slp liaoz ler.. before that talked on the phone, conference with alvin they all.. very interesting.. hahaz.. keep on joking and laughing.. eunice was at wee ting's house too.. hahaz.. we played poker cards non-stop.. that whole night i was eating tibits.. wanna eat until crazy.. so i went to buy three packets.. keep on eating and eating then never drink water.. next morning wake up.. nose bleed.. sial lahz.. scary seh~! whoo~ then faster ask ah ting help me.. eunice lehz..? still lying down there slping.. muahahahaa.. then it's like suddenly thinking of *heartbreaker*.. my whole world collapse because he ddn't handle it well..! well, guess i'll just have to face the reality.. wait till he comes back, i'll have to do wad i have to do liaoz..

sadist.

2004-06-19T13:21:00.000+08:00

haiz.. yesterday so sad.. keep on crying thinking about all those things that have happened to us.. actually thought that everything could start anew.. but then everything turn out the opposite way.. really devastated.. but then lucky got my kor kor.. yesterday played finish bball he cycle me home.. if it's not for him.. i will be crying and crying non-stop le bahz! thanks ah kor! think no matter wad, i will forget him de! i will try my best, cuz he really sucks.. *heartbreaker* but then lehz.. thanks to eddie too.. accompany me through the whole night.. my bestest friend! hahaz.. i'l try to cheer myself up de.. not to think about anything anymore liaoz.. wait till he come back from australia.. everything will start to change.. but i guess i will still love him bahz.. i give my blessings to both *heartbreaker* and *cckss girl*..

i can't take it ler..

2004-06-19T02:40:00.000+08:00

haiz.. i'm really damn sad lahz.. dont know how to say also.. haiz.. i can't live a day without him.. but haiz.. when he is with me, he go jio that girl.. that girl very chio bahz.. they say de.. then it's like yee song ask her:" if i really jio you will you accept mahz?" that girl say don't know.. how can he do such thing sial? wtf! haiz.. i don't wanna let him go.. but until this step liaoz.. how can i not let go? he really went too far ler, did he..? or i am just too ugly for him.. guess i'm not worth for him bahz, not suitable.. he so good i so bad.. it's like haiz.. it's his misfortune to have me bahz.. hahaz.. stupid me.. still think my looks average.. muahahaha.. haiz.. guess i too tian zhen le bahz.. suan ler.. i just remain wad i am, change liaoz also no use de..just be myself can ler.. [Let Him Go!]try my best bahz..

heartbroken

2004-06-17T13:24:00.000+08:00

haiz.. i really don't know what i should do now.. i'm really confused.. just feel like breaking down and cry.. my *dar dar* like that treat me.. i can't take the pressure he've been putting me through.. i just feel like smoking.. can release pressure? but i think i'll never do that bahz.. really love him a lot but he lehz..? wanna jio other girls.. hahaz!!!!! i think i'll let him go so that he can jio that girl easier lahz hor.. don't need so much problems mahz.. i automatic leave him better lahz, i think.. that's the best way lorz.. hope he and that can xing fu bahz.. don't need bother about me ler.. think you suit her better, although i don't know who the girl is bahz..but say the truth, i'm devastated.. guess i'll ignore you bahz.. if you wanna care about me then care, don't wanna care about me nevermind lorz.. just throw me aside.. i don't mind! only will feel hurt.. but also never mind lahz.. my heart already broken into milions of pieces liaoz.. aiya.. you also don't bother de lahz.. suan ler lorz.. let me hurt myself.. don't chap me better.. and don't chap me a bit then don't chap.. i can't afford to get hurt anymore ler.. pls..

Disappointed..

2004-06-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

haiz.. I'm feeling so disappointed.. nie.. I got change mahz? haiz.. I last time also like that de.. Maybe I'm just crazy bout him bahz.. haiz.. i admit i wanna see him but then haiz.. sorry for not going out with you.. but then you sometimes ask peeps then i'm not familiar with.. it's like i go ler also very extra mahz.. maybe you are thinking that i'm just giving an excuse.. but that's not true lahz.. haiz. i don't know how to say also.. hmm.. *dar dar* going other country today liaoz ler.. will miss him de.. one whole week.. dunnoe wad i should do sial.. hmm.. i see so much ppl create this blogspot..i kinda interested too.. hahaz.. so i create lorz.. muahahahaha.. oops..=x think i'm really crazy liaoz..